|
|
Bloopers from “Boys Will
Be Boys”
|
|
|
Scene 4, Take 1
|
|
Bobby:
|
But anyway, we
were just sittin’ around and talkin’
about the baptizing they had at the church last Sunday.
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Bobby, you need
to say “capsizing”. Scene 4, take 2. Action!
|
|
Bobby:
|
But anyway, we
were just sittin’ around and talkin’
about the baptiz…
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Bobby, you
said “baptizing” again. It’s “capsizing”.
|
|
Bobby:
|
No, it’s not.
I’m sick of getting my words wrong all the time. Everybody out there has no
idea that I truly have an extraordinary understanding of the English
language. I’m outta here! You can call my agent!
|
|
|
Scene 5, Take 1.
|
|
Peter:
|
Gee, thanks,
Helen.
|
|
|
(Helen
wraps her arms around her husband’s waist.)
|
|
Helen:
|
I’ll make it up
to you later, Peter dear.
|
|
|
(Peter
wiggles his eyebrows at her, dips her back, and kisses her passionately. One of his hands rubs her backside and the
other trails under her shirt to…)
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Somebody get the water hose! What do you
think this is, guys? Jix-18?! Yellow
star! Do you hear me? YELLOW star!
|
|
|
Scene 6, Take 1
|
|
Diana:
|
Honey is
right. You’re just…just oozing with
natural beauty!
|
|
Trixie:
|
Yeah, I’m oozing
all right… (CRACK!!!) OUCH!!!
That really hurt! She broke that hair brush on me!
|
|
Honey:
|
*giggling
madly* Sorry, Trix.
|
|
April:
|
Props! We need a
new hairbrush!
|
|
|
Scene 7, Take 1
|
|
Di:
|
Trixie, have you
heard the legend of Princess Supple Blink Blink?
|
|
April:
|
Cut! That’s Bling Bling, Di. Take 2!
Action!
|
|
Di:
|
(batting
eyes in confusion) Trixie, have you heard the legend of
Princess Supple Ching Ching?
|
|
April:
|
Cut! It’s “Bling Bling”, Diana. “Bling, Bling”. It’s one of the
elements! Get it right! All right! Take 3! Action!
|
|
Di:
|
Trixie, have you
heard of the legend of Princess Supple… What was it again?
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Does anyone
know if Mary-Kate or Ashley Olsen is available?
|
|
|
Scene 11, Take 1
|
|
|
(Relieved
that Bambi and the drug lord were still wrestling, Extra #2 quiets down and
becomes glued to the television program.
Extra #2 leans up closer to the TV as the crook rips Bambi’s top and
her big br…)
|
|
April:
|
Cut! I said cut!
This is where you boys are supposed to switch the channel! Hello, Jim? Are
you listening to me? Cut!!!!!
|
|
|
Scene 12, Take 1
|
|
Mart:
|
Don’t forget
Matthew McConaughey!
|
|
Dan:
|
Geez, why don’t you guys wake up and smell
the coffee! Trixie likes some
dark-haired bad boy biker…
|
|
April:
|
Cut! I’m a
traditionalist, Dan. Sorry, but there is no sandy haired detective in your
future.
|
|
Jim:
|
Yeah, Dan. April
loves me, so you’ll have to settle for Hallie.
|
|
Dan:
|
Sorry, guys. I
was in the wrong uni!
|
|
|
Scene 13, Take 1
|
|
April:
|
Trixie, now
you’re going to stomp up the stairs to get your dad. Ready? Action!
|
|
|
(clomp, clomp *scream*
bonk, bonk, bonk THUD!!! )
|
|
Trixie:
|
I’m okay! (jumping to her feet)
|
|
|
Bloopers from “A Day in
the Life of Moms”
|
|
|
Scene 3, Take 1
|
|
Mart:
|
Alas, I must
concede to my eldest kinsman. Brian most likely has an itemized spreadsheet,
effectively calculating all antidotes…
|
|
April:
|
Cut! That’s
antecedents, Mart. Let’s try it again. Take 2! Action.
|
|
Mart:
|
Alas, I must
concede to my eldest kinsman. Brian most likely has an itemized spreadsheet,
effectively calculating all anteaters…
|
|
April:
|
Cut!
Antecedents! The word is antecedents!
|
|
Mart:
|
I don’t know why
I get all the crappy lines! Why do I have to use all the big words? Brian’s
the future doctor! Or how about Jim? He’s the one who skipped two years of school!
Why do I get stuck with all the hard lines? This bites!
|
|
|
Scene 7, Take 1
|
|
Helen:
|
Gently blow
while I rub. (Five
minutes later…) Stand still, Bobby. It’s still not out. (Ten minutes later…) It’s not coming out! It’s stuck
up there! Can someone get this out! Omigosh! What
do I do! Breathe, Bobby, breathe!
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Can someone
call the medic!
|
|
|
Scene 8, Take 1
|
|
April:
|
Cue the phone.
Action!
|
|
Helen:
|
(phone
rings) Hello! Belden
residence.
|
|
Peter:
|
Hey, baby! How’s
your day going?
|
|
Helen:
|
Much better now
that you called.
|
|
Peter:
|
What are you
wearing? Do you have on those lacy black pa---
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Yellow
star, Peter! Yellow star!
|
|
|
Scene 9, Take 1
|
|
Bobby:
|
Is Jim goin’?
|
|
Honey:
|
No, lamb. He’s
helping Brian with his car. But he’ll be here later. Why do you ask?
|
|
Bobby:
|
I was wantin’ to show him his name. Trixie wrote it in her
diarrhea.
|
|
Honey:
|
Oh, that’s
gross! (Honey
turns a ghastly shade of green) I think I’m going to thr… (runs to bathroom)
|
|
|
Scene 10, Take 1
|
|
Jim:
|
Hey, Trix, maybe
later I can take you and Honey around to pick up some of those donations. (Seeing his moment, Jim finally gathers his courage and
grabs Trixie. He plants an open mouth kiss…)
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Jim, read
the script. You’re supposed to tug on her curl!
|
|
Jim:
|
You mean I can’t
kiss her?
|
|
April:
|
Not in this uni! Get used to fond glances, Jim baby.
|
|
Jim:
|
Man, this sucks!
|
|
|
Bloopers from
“Saccharine Sweet Revenge”
|
|
|
Scene 3, Take 1
|
|
Helen:
|
Sounds heavenly.
(She rubs Peter’s chest and wiggles seductively
against him.)
|
|
Peter:
|
(Slams
bedroom door shut)
|
|
April:
|
Uh, cut! Go ahead
and take a lunch break, guys. They might be a while!
|
|
|
Scene 6, Take 1
|
|
Mart:
|
I’d better call
Brian and let him know that Moms and Dad made it off okay. (pretends to push phone buttons) Hey,
Brian….Yeah, we just got home a few minutes ago…He cried the whole way home,
but he’s asleep now…Yes, I remembered to---
|
|
Operator:
|
Beep! Beep! Beep!
Hello. If you wish to make a call, please hang up and try again.
|
|
Trixie:
|
*giggle* Cut! You doofus!
You forgot to hold the button down!
|
|
April:
|
Cut!
|
|
|
Scene 7, Take 1
|
|
Trixie:
|
Sure, I’ll talk
to Jim…Hi, Jim….Yeah, we’ll be there tomorrow…Gee, Jim, that sounds great!...*sigh* I already told Brian that I wouldn’t…But
it was
him! I’m sure of it…Yes, I remember when I thought Harrison was a thief…Ohhh!
I know what I saw James Frayne!... *giggle*
Jim! I never knew you could talk dirty! Yes, I wish you had made a move in
the tunnel, too! Maybe later we can…
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Keep with
the script, Trixie! Take 2!
|
|
|
Scene 13, Take 1
|
|
Trixie:
|
Maybe my
almost-twin is too hungry to use his immense vocabulary.
|
|
Jim:
|
Find any
mysteries while we were away, Shamus? (tugging
his favorite curl)
|
|
Trixie:
|
(grinning
stupidly while mesmerized by Jim’s green eyes)
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Trixie, you
missed your line. Let’s try it again. Take 2! Action!
|
|
|
(Honey
and Di giggle while Bobby pokes Trixie in the ribs)
|
|
Trixie:
|
Huh? Did I miss
something?
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Trixie,
sweetie, go wipe the drool from your chin and focus. Jim, try not to be so
supple. You’re distracting the cast.
|
|
|
Scene 15, Take 1
|
|
|
(The
Bob-Whites are in the Cameo. The lights have just went down and the movie is
about to start.)
|
|
Announcer:
|
Welcome to the Cameo! Mart Belden, keep
your hands to yourself and wipe that lipstick off your face! Diana Lynch,
tuck your shirt back in your skirt and fluff your hair! Now let’s keep this
PG-13 and enjoy the show!
|
|
|
Scene 17, Take 1
|
|
Di:
|
Uh, Brian, do
you mind taking me home?
|
|
Brian:
|
Sure, Di.
|
|
Mart:
|
Your chariot awaits, malady!
|
|
Brian:
|
(dropping
to the floor in laughter) You just called Di a disease! You mean ‘m’lady’!
|
|
Di:
|
*gasp!* How could you, Mart Belden! I thought
what we had was special! (Slaps his face and runs
to her dressing room)
|
|
Mart:
|
Di! Wait! It’s
not my fault, I swear! It’s that director! She made a typo on my script! (runs after her)
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Mwah-ha-ha! My diabolical plot to break them up has succeeded!
Mwah-ha-ha! Mart Belden shall be mine!
|
|
|
Scene 24, Take 1
|
|
|
(Honey
gracefully walks down stairs, flipping her honey-colored hair over her
shoulder. She flashes a thousand watt smile.)
|
|
Trixie Voiceover:
|
(thinking) Gleeps! I wish I could
look like that when I walk down stairs! *wistful
smile* Honey sure knows how to ma…
|
|
|
(Honey’s
feet slip on the polished wood stairs, and they fly out from under her.)
*PLOP*
*PLOP* *PLOP* *PLOP*
(Trixie
doubles over in laughter until she’s rolling in the floor.)
|
|
April:
|
Cut! You okay
there, Honey?
|
|
|
Scene 31, Take 1
|
|
Bobby:
|
Sorry. False
alarm. I thoughted he moved, but he was just
breathing.
|
|
|
(Trixie
leaves room)
|
|
|
WHACK! (Bobby whacks Sgt. Molinson again with the skillet) Sorry! He breathed again.
|
|
April:
|
All right, cut!
That’s a wrap.
|
|
|
WHACK!
|
|
April:
|
I said cut,
Bobby!
|
|
|
WHACK!!
|
|
April:
|
Bobby, that’s a
wrap! You don’t need to hit him anymore!
|
|
|
WHACK!!!
|
|
April:
|
*Snatching
skillet from Bobby’s grasp*
Okay, Sgt. Molinson, you can get up now. Sgt. Molinson? *patting his hand
and checking for a pulse* Sgt. Molinson, can
you hear me? Medic! Does anyone know CPR?
|
|
|
Bloopers from “The
Mystery of Rip Van Winkle’s Ghost”
|
|
|
Scene 1, Take 1
|
|
Mart:
|
Methinks Don
Juan has disregarded the captivating damsel with whom he has been spending an
exorbitant amount of time.
|
|
Dan:
|
(scratches
chin) Who…oh, Ruthie Kettner.
|
|
April:
|
Cut! It’s Amy Morrisey, Dan. Let’s try it again. Scene 1, take 2!
Action!
|
|
Mart:
|
Methinks Don
Juan has disregarded the captivating damsel with whom he has been spending an
exorbitant amount of time.
|
|
Dan:
|
(scratches
chin) Who…oh, Hallie Belden?
|
|
April:
|
ut! Can’t you keep track of your
girlfriends, Dan? The flavor of the month is AMY MORRISEY!
|
|
Mart:
|
Dude, I’m
getting you a day planner for Christmas so you can keep track of all your
chicks.
|
|
|
Scene 2, take 1
|
|
Honey:
|
They’re here,
Jim! They’re here!
|
|
|
(A
greenish van pulls in the driveway, and a perfectly coifed and stylishly
dressed blond girl gets out.)
|
|
Blond girl:
|
James Frayne?
|
|
Jim:
|
That’s me. Are
you Daphne Blake?
|
|
Blond girl:
|
Daphne Blake? Are
you kidding? Everybody knows me! I’m
Nancy Drew!
|
|
Trixie:
|
(whispering
to Honey) Nancy who?
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Wrong fanfic site, sweetheart!
|
|
|
Scene 7, Take 1
|
|
Fred:
|
Let’s head out, gang.
I think we can build a simple trap with clothes hangers, soap suds, and a
weed-eater.
|
|
Jim:
|
(rolling
eyes) That’s not our style,
Fred. Let me tell you how it works. Trixie and Honey search for clues. We
give them a hard time about being too suspicious. Brian and I throw in a
lecture or two, and Mart teases Trixie relentlessly. Trixie usually figures
it all out after someone, usually Trixie and or Honey, gets kidnapped. They are rescued in the nick of time, and
we get some type of reward which we donate to charity.
|
|
Fred:
|
Well, we’ve
always found the ‘find clues, set a trap using Shaggy and Scooby as bait, and
unmask the bad guy’ method to work.
|
|
Jim:
|
*getting
in Fred’s face* Well, this isn’t your turf, now is it, Freddie?
|
|
Fred:
|
*pointing
his finger in Jim’s face* Well, maybe you need a real man to take
charge around here and show you the right way to solve a mystery.
|
|
Jim:
|
*pushing
Fred* Well, maybe you need to take your little ascot and high tail
it out of here.
|
|
Fred:
|
*balling
up fist* Man, you can insult my chick, my wheels,
or my dog, but don’t mess with my ascot!
*takes a swing at Jim*
|
|
Shaggy:
|
Fight! Fight!
|
|
Dan:
|
(whispering
to Mart) I’ve got $5 on the redhead.
|
|
|
Scene 13, Take 1
|
|
Jim:
|
What did
everyone find?
|
|
Shaggy:
|
(holds
out box of chocolates) Like
man, just this groovy box of chocolate.
|
|
Dan:
|
(opens
lid) Where’s the chocolate?
|
|
Mart:
|
BURP!!! (grins sheepishly) Sorry, guys!
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Let’s try
this again. Take 2! Action!
|
|
Jim:
|
What did
everyone find?
|
|
Shaggy:
|
(holds
out box of chocolates) Like
man, just this groovy box of chocolate.
|
|
Dan:
|
(opens
lid) *in best Forrest Gump voice*
My mama said life was like a box of chocolates.
|
|
April:
|
*giggle*
Cut! Very good Tom Hanks impersonation, Dan.
|
|
|
Scene 14, Take 1
|
|
Velma:
|
Actually, it’s French.
Fortunately, I am fluent in seven languages, including French. Roughly
translated, it says, ‘My precious dove, I am astounded by your beauty. You
drive me crazy when you wear your smart tweed suits and your sensible shoes.
Your brisk efficiency makes me want to sweep you off your feet and make mad,
passionate love---
|
|
|
(Trixie
and Honey burst out in a fit of giggles)
|
|
April:
|
Cut! Try to
focus girls. Let’s try this again. Take 2! Action!
|
|
Velma:
|
Actually, it’s French.
Fortunately, I am fluent in seven languages, including French. Roughly
translated, it says, ‘My precious dove, I am astounded by your beau---
|
|
|
(Trixie
and Honey fall on the ground laughing.)
|
|
Honey:
|
*wiping
tears from laughing so hard*
S-s-sorry. I’m r-really trying.
|
|
Trixie:
|
We’ll do better
next time.
|
|
April:
|
All right. Take
3! Action!
|
|
Velma:
|
Actually, it’s
French. Fortunately, I am fluent in seven languages, including French.
Roughly translated, it says, ‘My precious dove, I am astounded by your
beauty. You drive me crazy when you wear your smart tweed suits and your sen---
|
|
|
(All
the Bob-Whites burst out laughing and roll on the floor, doubled up,
clutching their stomachs.)
|
|
April:
|
Cut!
|
|
|
Scene 19, Take 1
|
|
|
(Jim,
Fred, Mart, Brian, and Dan enter Miss Trask’s room.
Shaggy jumps out of the bed, dressed in the black teddy.)
|
|
Shaggy:
|
*dancing
provocatively around the room*
Like, how’s this, man?
|
|
April:
|
|
