All I Want for Christmas

A holiday story

Jixemitri Mystery Book CWP #1

And Holiday VI GWP for the Trixie Belden Homepage

Author’s note:

This story takes place in the “Here and Now” universe and occurs during Christmas break after such stories as “Boys Will Be Boys” and “A Day in the Life of Moms”. If you haven’t read those stories, you will still understand this one, but you might not get some of the jokes. Happy holidays from The Cameo!

“Ev’rybody thopthz an’ tharethz at me. Thethe two teeth are gone athz you can thee. I don’t know who to blame for thithz mu-ma-ma-me. But my one wish on Chrithmath Eve ithz athz plain athz it can be,” Bobby Belden happily sang as he bounced around the living room of Crabapple Farm.

Bobby’s Christmas present from Brian, a small newt appropriately named “Isaac”, was clasped in his chubby hand. Poor Isaac Newt looked traumatized and desperate for freedom. “All I want fer Chrithmath ithz my two front teeth, my two front teeth, thee my two front teeth!” he sang at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately for his audience, volume was a poor substitute for talent.

“Who taught Bobby that song?” Dan Mangan asked, trying in vain to cover his ears to muffle Bobby’s serenading.

Brian Belden shot a dirty look at his middle brother. “I know I didn’t. I’m in enough trouble with Moms as it is for bringing another creepy critter into the house.”

His only sister, Trixie, mirrored his nasty expression. “I didn’t teach it to him, either. And Moms and Dad would never willingly inflict this sort of torture on us.”

“I know it wasn’t Larry and Terry,” Di replied. “I don’t think they know that song, and after hearing it a gazillion times tonight, I hope they never learn it.”

Even Honey, who was usually amused by the exuberant Bobby, was on edge from the continuous singing. “Maybe Ben taught it to him when he stopped by on Christmas Eve,” she suggested.

Trixie snorted. “Nope. My money’s on Mart,” she announced confidently, glaring at her slightly older brother. “Mart didn’t have his front teeth during his sixth Christmas and nearly drove Moms and Dad crazy singing that confounded song. I’m positive it was my almost-twin who passed the mantle down to our darling little brother.”

Mart donned his best angelic expression. It was almost frightening how much he resembled Bobby at that moment. “What?” he questioned, innocently throwing up his hands in a defensive manner. “You just assume it was me? Maybe he learned it from that new neighbor kid he sits on the bus with. Or maybe he heard it on the radio, or at school, or at…”

“Thankthz for teachin’ me thithz cool thong, Mart!” Bobby exclaimed as he skipped past the Bob-Whites. “I jutht ‘dore it! An’ I can thing it even gooder than Mart did when he teached it to me, ‘cuz I’m jutht like that kid in the thong an’ don’t gotted my front teeth. Lithten! All I want fer Chrithmath ithz my two front teeth, my two front teeth, thee my two front teeth. Gee, if could only have my two front teeth, then I could mu-ma-mu-ma Chrithmath!”

Bobby’s last notes were so loud and off-key that Reddy pawed at the door, whimpering to be allowed outside in the cold night air as to escape the noise.

Jim wrinkled his ginger brow. “Then I can mu-ma-mu-ma Chrithmath?” he questioned in a low voice. “Gee, Mart. You could’ve at least taught him the right words.”

Honey laughed so hard that she almost spilled her eggnog. “What’s mu-ma-mu-ma Chrithmath?”

Mart rolled his eyes. “Elementary, dear Watson. My much more callow and, thereby much less sagacious puerile kinsman has dissipated all former remembrance of the precise wording; hence, he has substituted ‘mu-ma-mu-ma’ for the correct ‘with you Merry Christmas’.”

Honey scrunched her pretty face in confusion. “Then I could ‘with’ you Merry Christmas? That doesn’t make sense at all.”

“That’s what ‘wish’ sounds like when don’t have your front teeth,” Trixie explained with a giggle. “It’s how the song’s written.” She called out to her little brother. “Come here, Bobby.”

Bobby happily bounced to his sister’s side. “Whatcha’ want?”

“Say ‘I wish you a merry Christmas,’ ” Trixie commanded.

“I with ya a merry Chrithmath!” Bobby exclaimed, triumphantly holding Isaac Newt up in the air. Duly inspired, he hopped away singing, “It theemthz tho long that I could thay thither Thuthie thitting on a thithtle! Goth, oh gee, how happy I’d be, if I could only whithtle! Thhh-thhh thh thh thh…”

Bobby’s pitiful attempts at whistling left Dan, Di, Honey, and Jim in hysterics. Of course, the youngest Belden had been singing this same song since five o’clock that morning when he had woken everyone up to open gifts, so the initial cuteness of it had worn off for Trixie, Mart, and Brian by noon. Fifteen hours later, the older Belden siblings only had the strength to roll their eyes and pray for deliverance. Much to their glee, after nearly colliding with the Christmas tree, Bobby bounded off to the kitchen to serenade Moms.

The Bob-Whites had spent Christmas Day with their families. After they had all finished dinner, they met at the Lynch estate, and Mr. Lynch took them Christmas caroling around the town of Sleepyside, as was the Lynch family tradition. Their final stop was at the Celia and Tom’s, where they sang “Away in a Manger” especially for Tom Jr., who had only been born a few weeks earlier.

Afterward, the Bob-Whites retreated to Crabapple Farm for snacks, where they enjoyed Mrs. Belden’s yummy Christmas cookies, creamy fudge, hot chocolate, eggnog, and popcorn made in the living room fireplace. Later that night, the boys and girls would split up for their respective sleepovers.

“Gee, it’s a shame that we’re having our slumber party at the Manor House this time,” Trixie replied sarcastically. “We’ll sure miss hearing Bobby sing all night. How shall we ever survive?”

Di laughed. “Don’t worry, Trix. I’m sure the guys would be only too happy to tape it for us.”

“Bobby better not sing that all night,” Brian said, snorting. “I can’t take much more of this. I’m about ready to find the duct tape.”

“Mental note. Teachers will not be allowed to teach ‘All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth’ at Ten Acres Academy,” Jim groaned.

Dan grinned. “Don’t you mean Chrithmath?” He jovially whistled a few bars.

Mart moaned and belted his dark-haired friend with the couch cushion. “Don’t you even start! Or you’ll be ‘withing’ me a ‘Merry Chrithmath’ for real!”

“If I recall, you’re the one who started this, Martin Andrew Belden!” Trixie pointed out with a snicker.

“Well, Mangan was the one who gave Bobby all the Runts, chocolate, and Mountain Dew,” Mart retorted.

“Dude!” Brian slapped his head in exasperation. “What were you thinking? Why not just give him a FD&C red dye number five I.V.?”

“Great, Mangan!” Jim replied sarcastically. “Forget the fact that, on one of his good days, Bobby is the poster child for abstinence. Today, he’s even more hyper than usual from all the Christmas excitement and you’ve made it a million times worse by giving him kindergarten speed. He’ll bug us all night.”

Dan shrugged. “I didn’t know. I kept giving him candy to shut him up. I haven’t been around the little munchkins like you have.”

“I don’t have little brothers or sisters either, but even I know not to give that junk to Bobby,” Honey chided. “He’ll bounce off the walls for the next three days.”

“Nah,” Mart disagreed. “I’ve seen this before. He’ll drive us totally bonkers until four or five o’clock in the morning. Then he’ll fizz out and have a massive glucose-induced hangover.”

Trixie giggled. “Gee, as I said before, I’m so sorry that we’ll be at the Manor House for all this.”

“HEY! Wait just a cotton-pickin’ minute!” Mart shouted. “Come to think of it, it’s our turn to stay at the Wheelers. Right, guys?” All of the boys looked dumbfounded at Mart, then nodded their heads vigorously and headed for the door.

“Stop right there!” Honey commanded, her hands on her hips and a stern expression on her face. “You boys know good and well that we stayed at Crabapple Farm last time. It was right after the infamous ‘capsizing’ of Fluffy, so we had to suffer with Bobby that evening.”

Di nodded sadly. “Yes, poor Fluffy has never been the same since. Every time she sees Bobby, she runs under Mummy’s bed and hides.”

“So, we’ve paid our Bobby dues. Honey’s right. Our last sleepover was at Crabapple Farm, so it’s your turn to put up with the little monster,” Trixie told the guys.

“I honestly don’t remember where we all stayed last time, so I think we should draw straws to see who stays here with Speedy Gonzales,” Dan suggested.

Jim slapped Dan on the back. “Great idea, Dan. As co-president, I…”

“Jim Frayne!” Trixie exclaimed, stomping her foot. “You know darn well that it’s our turn to stay at the Manor House!”

Honey nodded in agreement. “Yes, I distinctly remember watching ‘A Perplexing Existence’ in this very living room. And having the best part interrupted, incidentally.”

“Yep!” Trixie agreed. “And I recall using the paint in our garage to beautify Brian’s jalopy. Which he so ungratefully sanded and repainted, might I add.”

“And I remember sneaking up to the Manor House to glam up your sorry butts,” Di added with a glint in her violet eyes. “By the way, Dan, you still haven’t returned all my sparkly, pastel butterfly clips.”

“So, unless you boys want a Christmas make-over, complete with video footage this time, you will be spending the night here with the toothless choir,” Trixie insisted, pointing her index finger at the guys menacingly.

Horrid visions of a tiara and a Frito-scented brassiere danced in Mart’s head. “Well, after much fastidious ruminations, I seem to countermand that, by order of the previous set-forth rotation, indeed it is our turn to sojourn at Crabapple Farm,” he agreed reluctantly.

Dan nodded. “Yeah. What he said,” he added, placing his hands protectively over his shaggy black hair.

“Well, now that we’ve settled that, we’re off to the Manor House for our after-Christmas sleepover,” Trixie told them. “You boys have fun at your slumber party.”

“Whoa!” Jim demanded, halting the girls. “Guys do not have a (here he made quote marks with his fingers and spoke in a lispy voice) slumber party.”

Trixie rolled her eyes in exasperation. “What’s the diff?”

Brian cleared his throat. “There’s a big difference, Trix. Girls have (Brian made the same quote marks and assumed an identical lisp) slumber parties. We men stay at each others’ houses,” he replied in a deadly serious tone.

Honey giggled. “Whatever! Well, we’ll leave you alone for your sleepover.”

“Halt, ye oh so feminine creatures!” Mart commanded. “Please let the record show that the virile constituents of this cudgel do not have (here he made quote marks with his fingers and spoke in the same lispy voice Jim and Brian had used earlier) sleepovers, either.”

Di batted her violet eyes in confusion. “So, what do boys call their slumber parties?”

“We’re guys,” Dan snickered. “Our get-togethers don’t require special little names.”

Honey crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. “You have to call them something.”

“No, we don’t,” Jim disagreed with a snort. “We’re manly men. We have our own identities and don’t need little cutesy name attached to everything.”

Jim was met by three pairs of blazing eyes: one china blue, one hazel, one violet. He maintained his stance, but motioned for backup from his three male counterparts.

Brian, gulping nervously, stepped up to bat for his friend. “Well, I have a question for you. Why do they call them ‘slumber parties’ when you don’t slumber?”

“Whatever do you mean?” Trixie sniffed indignantly, giving a defiant toss of her sandy curls. “That makes absolutely zero sense?”

Mart stepped in the line of fire next. “What our eldest kinsman is so eloquently attempting to elucidate is that why do you use a locution that is such an oxymoron?”

Trixie snorted. “The only ‘oxymoron’ around here is you, Zit-face.”

“The definition of an oxymoron, for the verbally-challenged, is a figure of speech in which contradictory ideas or terms are combined,” Mart explained in a highly-superior tone. “Therefore, the query remains why you call them ‘slumber’ parties and ‘sleep’-overs, when absolutely nobody in the entire house gets any slumber or sleep during said slumber party or sleepover!”

Mart’s rousing speech was followed by hearty round of applause from Brian and Jim. They, in turn, looked at Dan, who merely put his hands up in surrender.

“I’m not getting into this,” he said defensively. “I don’t have any sisters, and haven’t been to a sleep party or a slumber-over in my life, so I’m pleading the fifth.”

Jim groaned and slapped his forehead. “You’re breaking the code, Dan! It’s all for one, one for all. You must agree with the rest of us men, regardless of your experiences or preferences.”

Dan shrugged. “Yeah. What he said.”

Di feigned a hurt expression. “We do not keep everybody up during our slumber parties,” she argued. “We stay in our bedrooms, and don’t bother you at all.”

That statement was met with an enthusiastic round of laughter from the male Bob-Whites.

“Yeah, right,” Brian replied sarcastically. “And if that’s true, I’ll eat every single fruitcake that Mr. Wheeler received from his brown-nosing employees this Christmas.”

“Well, Mr. Smarty-Pants, since we gave you a taste of what we do at slumber parties, maybe you can enlighten us,” Trixie told him in a patronizing voice. “What do you (here Trixie made those same quote marks with her fingers and spoke in that lispy voice, as well) manly men do during your male bonding?”

“Nothing,” all the male Bob-Whites chimed in tune.

“Nothing?!” the girls repeated in disbelief.

Honey sighed loudly. “You have to do something at your little sl--- er… get-togethers.”

Brian chuckled. “We sure don’t do each others’ hair and junk like that.”

“And we don’t stick cucumbers on our eyes and goopy cream on our faces,” Jim added.

Trixie sniffed indignantly and tossed her curls for the second time that evening, much to Jim’s delight. “Frayne, I will never put cucumbers on my eyes. Cucumbers adorn salad, not my visual organs.”

Di giggled. “You never know what you’ll do someday for the sake of love, Trixie,” she said smugly, taking note of her friend’s outfit. Trixie had worn her itchy new navy sweater, and Diana suspected her choice of apparel had something to do with a certain supple redhead.

Mart nodded knowingly. “This is precisely the kind of inanity about which you feminine creatures converse. However, we, of the masculine variety, are content to convene in total silence. We are secure enough in our fraternal bonds that we have no need for idle chatter.”

“And we definitely don’t sit around and discuss our feelings like you do at your slumber parties,” Dan told them (and of course, the quotes and lispy voice were included!).

Trixie snorted. “I seriously doubt that Mart could sit there for hours without saying something.”

“Well, I’ll tell you one thing,” Mart sputtered. “At least we men don’t go to the bathroom with each other.”

“And we know why,” Di giggled, a devilish twinkle in her eyes. “Don’t we, ladies?”

“Yep!” agreed Trixie with confidence.

Honey adamantly nodded her head. “We sure do!”

Dan grinned. “This should be good. So, what is your little theory?”

“DUH!” Trixie exclaimed. “It’s simple. Men don’t go to the bathroom together because of that male envy thing. You’re insecure about your… assets.”

Trixie’s comment had the exact response she had intended. Not only were the boys’ faces just as red as Santa’s suit, they were also speechless. Even Mart.

However, Trixie, Di, and Honey rolled in the floor with laughter. After they had wiped several tears and recovered, Honey asked, “So, do you (she also made the little quotes and spoke in that lispy voice) manly men have a response?”

Jim cleared his throat and spoke in his deepest voice. “There are just some things that shouldn’t be discussed, and that’s one of them.”

“Mart brought it up,” Di replied impishly. “But we won’t embarrass you (once again with the quotes and lispy voice, except Di added a slight shimmy to her version) manly men further.”

Honey’s curiosity now perked, she had to ask. “So, what do you do? Do you eat?”

Brian hooted with laughter. “Mart wouldn’t come if we didn’t!”

“Do you watch movies?” Di questioned.

Jim nodded. “Yeah, if it’s something with a lot of graphic violence…”

“Or lots of jokes about bodily functions…” Mart added.

“Or cool cars…” Brian put in.

“Or hot babes,” Dan concluded with a devastating grin.

Trixie rolled her eyes. “Are you watching anything tonight?”

“As a matter of fact, my exorbitantly inquisitorial kinswoman, we he-men delineated upon watching the sure-to-become-a-Christmas-classic cinematic marvel called ‘Hot Babes in Cold Places’,” Mart informed her.

Honey groaned. “Somehow, I doubt that compares to ‘White Christmas’ and ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’.”

“Does this movie have the required cool car, fart gags, violence and scantily clad women?” Di asked, an ebony brow raised in speculation.

“Yep!” Dan replied. “This one even has a plot! Four extremely hot babes go investigate a mystery at some ski resort in Vermont.”

“Starring Reese Witherspoon,” Jim said with a dreamy expression.

“Brittany Murphy,” Brian gushed.

“Liv Tyler,” Mart added with an impish smile.

“And Catherine Zeta Jones,” Dan concluded with a lusty grin.

Trixie groaned. “I think I’ll have to skip that one, guys.”

“Isn’t the ‘Perplexing Existence’ Christmas special on tonight?” Di inquired. “You know, the one where the guys go to Arizona and get jobs on a ranch?”

Trixie and Honey squealed in delight.

“Oooh! Ewan McGregor in matador breeches!” Trixie cried. “I’m there!”

Honey shook her head. “I’ll take Tom Welling any day.”

“My favorite’s still Matthew McConaughey,” Di giggled.

Dan scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Doesn’t anybody like Orlando Bloom?”

Trixie hopped up from the couch and grabbed her overnight bag, which she had packed earlier. “We’d better go. Our movie starts at 9:00. Where are Moms and Dad? I’d like to say good-bye to them before I go.”

Mart snorted. “I think I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus.”

“Well, it is Friday, you know,” Dan grinned.

Later that evening, at the Manor House…

Trixie, Honey, and Di laid in the floor around the big screen TV in the Wheelers’ newly constructed recreation room. After enjoying their movie, they flipped the channel to “Hot Babes in Cold Places” to see why the boys had wanted to see it so badly. During a commercial break, Trixie sighed deeply.

“Reese Witherspoon!” she said, rolling her eyes. “She’s so cute… and perky. Ugh!”

Honey raised up on one arm and pretended to throw up. “Brittany Murphy! I thought Brian had better taste than that. Why, she can’t even act. All she can do is bat those big cow eyes of hers.”

Di flipped her pretty black hair in exasperation. “And I know Liv Tyler is supposed to be a really nice person, but who is going to believe that someone that beautiful is actually sweet?”

“And Catherine Zeta Jones’ character was just thrown in there as a love interest for the extra guy,” Trixie sniffed. “Nobody really likes her anyway.”

Honey nodded in agreement. “And that drawl is certainly annoying.”

“Oh, she’s not so bad, I guess,” Di reluctantly acceded. “But, I still don’t see what’s so great about this movie.”

“Men!” the girls chorused loudly, turning the channel to a “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” marathon.

The big grandfather clock chimed twelve, signaling that this Christmas Day was officially over.

Di looked mournfully out the window in the direction of Crabapple Farm. The stars were merrily twinkling and the snow glistened on the ground. “All I want for Chris’mas is my two front teeth, my two fr…” After being abruptly whacked with throw pillows by Trixie and Honey, she stopped her song. “So, did you all get what you wanted for Christmas?”

Trixie nodded. “Moms and Dad got me the complete set of Lucy Radcliffes, signed by Marvin Appleton and everything. And you guys got me ‘All Through the Night’ and ‘Silent Night’, the Mary Higgins Clark Christmas novels I wanted.”

Honey shrugged. “I got the new computer I asked for. Now, I can get on the Lucy message board anytime I want. What about you, Di?”

Di sighed and held up her right ring finger. “Mummy and Daddy got me the beautiful new amethyst and diamond ring I wanted.” She sighed deeply once more, and looked longingly towards Crabapple farm. “But they couldn’t get me what I really wanted.”

The girls were silent, each understanding all too well what Diana meant. Trixie and Honey gazed out the window looking toward the southeast. Suddenly, Trixie shook her head, determined not to mull over a certain stubborn redhead. It was at that moment that her gaze fell upon a certain object.

Trixie giggled. “I have an idea…”

Meanwhile, at Crabapple Farm…

The boys crammed on the large couch in the living room at Crabapple Farm. The remains of leftover turkey, cheesecake, cookies and fudge sat on the coffee table in front of them. The boys enjoyed the companionable silence as they watched their Christmas movie. Their bellies were full, and their eyes were big as saucers as they watched the lovely actresses.

Not being able to withstand the temptation, Mart grabbed his tenth Christmas cookie. “I sure am glad Mrs. V. gave Moms the recipe for her special Dutch Christmas cookies,” he commented stuffing the whole thing in his mouth.

“Sweet!” Dan murmured as he ogled the beautiful movie stars on TV.

“They sure are,” Mart agreed, grabbing another cookie.

“Not the cookies, lamebrain!” Dan exclaimed. “I’m talking about the babes on the movie.”

Mart stood, looked up at the ceiling and placed his right hand over his heart. “I only have eyes for the fair Diana.”

Brian hooted with laughter. “Yeah, right. I saw how you put that fudge down when Liv Tyler was dressed in that skimpy bikini.”

Jim whistled as he watched Reese Witherspoon interrogate a suspect. “Man, she’s pretty,” he said in a dreamy voice. “With her hair curled, she looks like an angel. And just look how spunky she is!”

Brian shrugged. “She reminds me too much of Moms. Brittany Murphy's hot, though. I love her eyes. Is it my imagination, or is there a hint of hazel in them? And her character is great! Reese is always putting her foot in her mouth. Where would she be without Brittany’s tact?”

Mart snorted. “Contraire, mon frere. Methinks the beauty of Liv Tyler surpasses all. Her character may seem a bit air-headed, but a great mind dwells under that gorgeous hair and a pure heart lieth within that lovely bosom.”

Unfortunately, Dan had just taken a large drink of pop, which he spewed out all over the place. He dropped on the floor, laughing uncontrollably. “You guys are sick! Jim likes the spunky, perky blonde? Brian likes the tactful, honey-haired, hazel-eyed chick? And Mart goes for the dark-haired babe whose beauty is only exceeded by her kindness? You all need therapy!”

After Jim wiped all the Pepsi from his sweatshirt, he yanked Dan back on the sofa. “Pray tell, why do you like Catherine Zeta Jones? By any chance, does she remind you of anyone? An Indian princess, perhaps?”

That quite efficiently wiped the smirk off of Dan’s face.

Mart sighed, turned around in his seat, and glanced out the window toward Manor House. “I wonder what the girls are doing now.”

“Probably giggling and gossiping about Ewan McGregor,” Jim muttered.

“And Tom Welling,” Brian added unhappily.

“Don’t forget Matthew McConaughey,” Mart mumbled.

“They don’t give a rip about Orlando Bloom.” Dan shrugged his broad shoulders.

Jim exhaled loudly. “Why are females such a mystery?”

“If we knew the answer to that, my friend, we’d be the richest men on the face of the earth,” Brian told him with a chuckle.

“I should’ve kissed Di under the mistletoe,” Mart muttered unhappily.

“Me too,” Dan repeated with an ornery grin. Mart punched him on the arm.

“Brian, what would you do if I advanced beyond fond glances with Trixie?” Jim asked hopefully.

“I’d have to break your legs,” Brian answered without missing a beat. “All three of them.”

“Brian, what would you do if I hit on Trixie?” Dan questioned innocently.

“I’d just sit back and watch Jim break all three of your legs,” Brian laughed. “You know, I think I’m finally going to take things up a notch with Honey on New Year’s Eve.”

Jim snorted. “Hey, if I can’t make a move on your sister, do you actually think I’m going to let you make a move on mine?”

“It was worth a shot.” Brian grinned sheepishly.

“Jim, can I see if Honey’s willing to round third base with me?” Dan casually inquired.

“Sure, Dan,” Jim answered with a shrug. “Just tell me first so I can set my timer and see how long it takes Brian to kick your sorry tail back to New York City.”

“Man, I’m glad Di doesn’t have any older brothers,” Mart said with a grin.

“But she has one very large, protective father,” Jim commented.

Mart laughed. “I can outrun him.”

Dan squinted his eyes, as in deep thought. “Do you guys know if Cap or Knut has studied martial arts?”

“If you’re so brave, little brother, then why haven’t you made a move, Mr. Lonelyheart?” Brian asked his younger sibling.

“Just don’t want to make you slow-pokes look bad,” Mart retorted. “A guy has to follow the code and all.”

The guys all raised their cans of pop in a simultaneous toast. “To the code!” they chanted, clinking their cans together.

Mart grabbed a fig newton and crammed it in his mouth. “However, if you guys don’t hurry up, I’m breaking the code and asking out Di anyway.”

Jim gasped and mockingly clutched his heart disparagingly. “Break the code?”

“Yep,” Mart answered, licking his fingers. “All’s fair in love and war. And Nick Roberts is eyeing the fair Diana like I’m eyeballing that last piece of cheesecake.”

“I’d like to think that a special girl would wait on you, if she really cared about you, that is,” Jim commented nonchalantly.

Dan snorted. “Frayne, do you really think if you keep it up with the orchids and fond glances that Trixie will wait around for you forever? Get real! For your information, I’ve heard through the grapevine that Tad Webster has the hots for your schoolgirl shamus.”

Jim’s green eyes blazed and he crushed the can he held in his hand.

Brian smiled confidently. “I think Honey would wait for me.”

Mart sweetly smiled in return. “I’ve got two words for you, Bro: Pat Murrow.”

Dan chortled evilly. “I’ve got two more: Peter Kimball.”

“Bob Hubbell!” Jim added with a lopsided grin.

Brian held up his hands in front of his face, as if to protect himself from any more names hurled at him. “Okay! Nuff said!”

Mart gulped down that last piece of cheesecake, and wiped a few stray crumbs from his chin. “So, why are we sitting around here on Christmas night, wishing we would’ve taken advantage of all that strategically hung mistletoe?”

Jim shrugged his broad shoulders. “Brian has a syndrome usually associated with the oldest child in a large family, which attributes to his need to take care of everyone else and be perfect. Dan has a fear of commitment due to his life on the cruel streets. I have issues out the wazoo from Jonesy’s abuse. Mart, you are…”

“Perfectly normal,” Mart interrupted. The rest of the males hooted with laughter.

“Little brother, you are the textbook example for middle child syndrome,” Brian teased.

“I am not the middle child. There are four of us, so that would make Trix and me both the middle child. And that’s impossible.”

“But you are the middle boy,” Dan pointed out.

“And, if you don’t count Bobby, which we usually don’t because of the vast age difference, you’re still the middle child,” Brian added. “So, you’re the middle child two different ways.”

Jim slapped Mart’s back sympathetically. “Man, you’re really screwed up.”

Dan, having compassion on his best friend, attempted to change the subject. “Dudes! We’re sitting here talking about our feelings! If we don’t start thinking manly thoughts pronto, we may get out the hair gel and the bikini wax. Let’s just watch the movie.”

The guys silently resumed their positions in front of the TV.

“Not a minute too soon!” Brian exclaimed, his eyes glued to the screen as the actresses in the movie began changing into their nightgowns.

“Whoa, mama!” Jim murmured, his eyes locked on Reese’s petite form.

“Oh, yeah!” Mart whispered, his blue eyes as large as saucers.

“Reach for the hook…” Dan urged.

Suddenly, the channel changed to “A Christmas Story”. Ralphie had just shot his Red Ryder BB gun and hit an icicle, which fell and hit him in the eye.

The boys exchanged a look of rage. “Trixie! Honey! Diana!” they cried. They hurriedly put on their shoes and raced out the front door, the snow crunching under their feet. Whoever had that universal remote would pay…

Author’s notes:

Be sure to check out the Blooper Reel at The Cameo…

Thanks again to Kaye and Kathy for their wonderful editing! You both are beyond swell!

Beautiful Christmas graphics compliments of Blackat’s Free Web Graphics.

I have no idea who wrote the song “All I Want For Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”, but last Christmas my daughter was missing her two front teeth and drove us crazy singing it.

There were many moments from “Boys Will Be Boys” here, as well as a little foreshadowing from “Why Do Fools Fall in Love?” But I’m allowed to plagiarize myself. J

FD&C red dye number five is famous for getting kids hyper. As is chocolate, candy, and Mountain Dew.

“A Perplexing Existence” and “Hot Babes in Cold Places” are my own creation, which explains how stupid they sound.

Ewan McGregor, Tom Welling, Matthew McConaughey, and Orlando Bloom are four extremely good-looking actors who incidentally remind me of four certain Bob-Whites.

Reese Witherspoon, Brittany Murphy, Liv Tyler, and Catherine Zeta Jones were my pick for the female BWGs and Hallie. I know Catherine Zeta Jones has a penchant for suing people, so I have used her name at my own risk. Come on and sue me. I’ll gladly give you my car and house, seeing as how the bank owns them anyway. J

The idea for the “slumber party” debate came from my wonderful hubby, Damon. Once I asked him what guys did at slumber parties, and I got the same reaction that the girls got. Jeesh! They are really touchy about that junk!

And his biggest complaint about his sister’s slumber parties was that she and her friends would keep him awake all night with their giggling and gabbing.

And the “why do girls go to the bathroom in pairs” issue has long been debated. However, the answer is so they can gripe about their dates in private. *wink*

“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer”, “A Christmas Story”, “White Christmas”, and “It’s a Wonderful Life” are all Christmas classics. My personal favorite is “White Christmas”.

All Through the Night and Silent Night are two wonderful best-selling Christmas novels by the glorious Mary Higgins Clark, who I think is just the berries! Read ‘em! They’re perfectly perfect!

All analyzing of the male Bob-Whites was done by a non-professional, and therefore, the opinions are highly unreliable.

This story was Holiday GWP VI for the Trixie Belden Homepage and a Mystery Book CWP #1 for Jixemitri. Yes, I was brave and mixed the two together. The elements for each included:

For Zap’s GWP Happy Holidays VI:

A gift- several were mentioned. For example, Bobby’s newt, Trixie’s books, Honey’s computer, or Di’s ring.

A holiday song- “All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth”

A food associated with the holiday season- Christmas cookies

A holiday decoration- the Belden’s Christmas tree that Bobby almost knocks over

A family tradition- the Lynches caroling

An animal associated with the holidays- a reindeer by the name of Rudolph

Jixemitri Mystery Book CWP #1

A holiday themed mystery book title- “All Through the Night” and “Silent Night” two Christmas novels by Mary Higgins Clark, who is my favorite mystery writer. And thank you for clarifying on the Jix MB that it couldn’t be a made-up title. At the last minute, I had to substitute my Lucy “The Case of the Scrupulous Santa” for the real books. YIKES!

Any holiday between November 1 and February 1- Why Christmas, of course!

A new construction- the Wheelers’ new rec room

A newborn- Tom Delanoy, Jr.

A fig Newton- Mart eats one

A new job- the boys in “A Perplexing Existence” get a new job working on a ranch in Arizona. J

A new recipe or a food new to a character- Mrs. Belden tries a new recipe for Christmas cookies that she gets from Mrs. Vanderpoel.

A new outfit- Trixie’s new sweater that I think she wore just for Jim’s benefit

A newt- Bobby’s Christmas present from Brian.