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Why Do Fools Fall in Love? Part Three
Last
time we visited the Glimpses
into the Future universe,
we met Jim’s utterly annoying girlfriend, Amanda, who Mart distracted so
Trixie and Jim could share a moment alone. Unfortunately, our fools did not
bear their souls, and parted with heavy hearts as the dance ended. Our story
picks up with Jim, who finally shares his deepest secrets with us… After his dance with Trixie ended, Jim
watched as she hurried back to the table where they had been sitting. Sighing
deeply, he glanced around the room for Amanda. Satisfied that she was dancing
with Brian, Jim slipped out of the ballroom and went into his father’s study.
He needed a moment to think. After
locking the door behind him, Jim sat on the leather sofa and assumed the
crash position. When had life become so difficult? He thought back to the
carefree days he had enjoyed after moving to Sleepyside. Trips to exciting
places, swimming in the lake, mysteries always popping up, dinner at Wimpy’s,
childish pranks…
Why did it all have to change? He
feared change. Most of the transitions in his life had not been good ones.
After the death of his father, Jim’s once-perfect life had begun to fall
apart. His mother had married a man he despised, and who despised him as
well. When Katie died, Jonesy blamed Jim for her death. Before his mother was
even buried, his stepfather began beating him. He suffered with Jonesy as
long as he could bear, then ran away to find his Uncle James. Once
Jim reached Sleepyside, he discovered his uncle’s estate, Ten Acres, in a
shambles. Uncle James, he later found out, was a patient in the He
had eventually been adopted by Matthew Wheeler, who had been a college friend
of his father’s. Jim never told a single soul, but for a long time after his
adoption, he had lain in bed worrying that the Wheelers would change their
minds and send him back to Jonesy. He had nightmares about the “welcome”
Jonesy would give him upon his return to the truck farm in When
Jim first met Trixie and Honey, he acted tough about the beatings he had
suffered at the hands of his cruel stepfather. However, the abuse affected
him far more than he admitted even to himself. The beatings left scars on his
body; the mental abuse left scars on his soul. He
had what psychologists would call “issues”. He secretly battled fears of
abandonment, as well as an inferiority complex caused by Jonesy’s numerous
malicious insults. In the dark night, the taunting demons would surface, and
Jim would hear his stepfather’s voice… “You no-good, brat! You’ll never amount to
nuthin… Yer so stupid and
worthless! It’s yrr fault yer ma died! If you hadn’t upset her, she woulda been fine!... Yer nuthin’ but a redheaded
step-kid! I don’t love you, yrr ma didn’t love you,
and nobody else is ever gonna love you,
neither!... Yer ma didn’t
love you, Jimmy. She wanted rid of you so bad that she died just to get away
from you… Now who do you got, little prince? Yer nuthin’ but a crown prince with no loyal subjects. You’ve
got no one, Jimmy, no one… Though
Jim lived with Jonesy’s taunts and torments for only a few years, they had
left a lasting imprint on his soul. Even after he arrived at the Wheelers’,
he had horrible memories that he could not erase from his mind. Vivid nightmares recalling his previous
physical abuse plagued his sleep. Certain words or phrases could induce a
flashback. However, throughout it all, Jim
suffered silently. He
was on his best behavior after he moved into the Manor House. He feared if he
made his new parents angry or if he disappointed them in any way, Matthew or
Madeleine would take him back to George Rainsford and have the adoption
annulled. The other Bob-Whites often joked about Jim being “so honorable he
was boring”, but some of his cautious nature could be attributed to his fear
of abandonment. Though Matthew and Madeleine were both kind
to him, it took Jim a long while before he was able to trust them. Any time
his new father called Jim into his study, Jim readied himself for a torrent
of insults. Whenever Matthew reached towards his belt, Jim broke out in a
cold sweat, remembering his numerous beatings at the hands of his cruel
stepfather. Eventually,
Jim became quite close to Matthew. Unbeknownst to Jim, he was actually a good
influence on the wealthy tycoon. Jim’s presence took Matthew back to a time
when money and power weren’t the most important things in his
life. Jim often talked about Win and the things they did together. After
hearing several of these stories, Matthew took inventory of his own life, and
saw how pathetic a father he truly was. He determined in his heart to be the
kind of father his friend was. Maybe someday Honey and Jim would talk about him
with that same adoring look that Jim had when he spoke of Win. Madeleine
Wheeler was an entirely different species, altogether. Madeleine did not frighten him, but his
adoptive mother was an enigma to Jim. Madeleine Wheeler was totally unlike
his birth mother and all the other women he knew, for that matter. Katie Frayne
was the type of woman who had milk and cookies waiting for Jim when he got
home from school. She sat down with him and discussed their day. She
scheduled her entire life around the needs of her only child, and even when
she couldn’t be there, Jim always felt loved and cherished. When they first met, Jim could not help but
think that Madeleine only agreed to adopt him after being pressured to do so
by her husband. After he moved in with the Wheelers, Jim could not believe
how much of the actual “mothering” came from their governess, rather than
Madeleine. She often accompanied
Matthew on business trips around the world. When Madeleine
was in Sleepyside, she was too busy planning social events for the Manor
House to become involved in her children’s lives. Too busy to check on Honey
in the middle of the night after one of her dreams. Too busy to find out if
anything was bothering Jim. Too busy to ask what they were doing or if they
needed to talk about anything… Too busy… too
busy. For the first few
weeks, Jim wondered if his new mother actually cared for him, or if he was
just another worthy charity to which she could contribute. Eventually, not
only did she reach out to Jim, she also reconciled with her daughter. Though
she could not make up for all the lost years, she made an effort to change
the present. With time, she built a solid relationship with both her
children, which she treasured dearly. After nearly a
month with the Wheelers, Jim hesitatingly called them Dad and Mother. The terms stabbed his heart, as he
remembered his own parents. A twinge of sadness flooded his soul as he
remembered a father who doted upon his only child and a mother who lived her
life trying to make her son feel loved. But he knew that Win and Katie were
gone; Matthew and Madeleine would be his parents now, and he loved and
respected them accordingly. Outwardly, Jim
quite comfortably assumed the role of a millionaire’s son; however, inwardly,
he faced many demons. During his few years he had lived in every gamut of
life. Win and Katie had been a middle-class family. After his father’s death,
Jim and his mother lived in poverty until her marriage to Jonesy. Strangely
enough, Jim found it easier to adjust to poverty than wealth. He certainly didn’t complain, but with all
the changes, he found it difficult to feel comfortable in his own skin. And
after his tumultuous life, Jim longed to feel comfortable. As a boy, he
never realized how precious it truly was to be at ease with yourself and all
those around you. With Win and Katie, he never wondered if he was loved or
worried that he would be alone. He was comfortable, content, and secure.
After his father’s death and his mother’s remarriage, those feeling were
replaced with fear, insecurity, and anxiety. When Jim moved in with the
Wheelers, he felt pressured to assume the position of a millionaire’s son,
and he often yearned for the privilege of feeling comfortable in his own
skin. The only bright spot during his difficult
adjustment was from a curly-headed blonde neighbor girl. Her obvious
admiration of him gave Jim back some of the confidence he had lost during his
time with Jonesy. Her selfless manner made him feel that for the first time
in a long time, he mattered to someone. There was just
something about Trixie Belden that made Jim feel safe and secure, even comfortable.
Freud may have said it was because Trixie reminded him of Katie when Win had
been alive, but it was more than that. When he was around Trixie, Jim could
almost imagine that he was back in It was a beautiful spring morning. There had been a
horrible storm earlier in the week, so on Saturday the whole family was
pitching in to clean up the debris from the storm. He and Dad were outside
picking up fallen branches. Later on, they needed to repair a piece of fence
that had been damaged by a tree limb. They heard Mom in the laundry room and
knew soon she would join them outside. Dad motioned for Jim to be quiet. He
hid out of view from the door leading from the laundry room to the outside.
Jim stifled a laugh as he saw his mother’s blonde head appear at the door. He
knew exactly what his father was planning. Katie came outside and looked around. “Win! Where are
y...!” Suddenly, Dad grabbed Mom from behind and gathered her up in his arms.
He swung her around as one would a small child. “Put me down this instant, Jim knew she was only teasing. Mom loved Dad’s tricks
almost as much as Dad did. He watched
as his father grabbed in mother again, this time lifting her up for a kiss. “It’s your fault,” Win said, feigning innocence. “If you
weren’t so darned cute when you get mad, I wouldn’t be tempted!” “I’ll show you cute, Mr. Frayne!” Mom started tickling
him under the arms. Her skinny little fingers could weasel their way into all
of Dad’s ticklish spots. Soon they were both laughing until tears were
running down their cheeks, Mom with her soft, tinkling giggle and Dad with
his rich, baritone chuckle. Jim grinned, thoroughly enjoying the sight of his
parents playing. “All right, you two. Knock it off. While you two are fooling
around, your favorite son is doing all the work!” Win gave Jim a mock salute. “Yes, sir!” Before he left
to finish his work, he leaned over to his wife, wiggled his ginger eyebrows,
and whispered, “We’ll finish our ‘fooling around’ later.” He was rewarded with another giggle and a
firm slap to his backside. “Jim, my boy, let this be a lesson to you,” his father
said, patting him on the back. “When the time comes for you to find a special
girl, find you one with spunk. Because if you get one with a little spirit, I
can assure you that life will never be boring.” Jim remembered his father’s
words the very instant a certain spitfire scolded him about “trespassing” on
Ten Acres. At that first meeting, Jim knew his life would never be the
same. He admired Trixie for not so
much as flinching when he pulled the gun on her and Honey. That flash in her
blue eyes when she rebuked him reminded him so much of his mother when she
and his father were in the middle of one of their few arguments. When Trixie and Honey were
arguing over who would adopt him, Jim prayed the Wheelers would win. He knew, from the very first instant they met, that the affection
he felt for Trixie was not brotherly. The first time his brilliant green eyes
locked with her china blue ones, he knew he had met his soul mate. Once again, though outwardly confident, Jim
struggled with how best to express his feelings to Trixie. He tried to
pretend his special feelings for her didn’t exist, but the more time he spent
with her, the more positive he became that this was more than a crush. By
Thanksgiving that first year, he was sure that he was in love with Trixie
Belden. Jim would never forget his first Thanksgiving in
Sleepyside. A storm had damaged the clubhouse roof, and Brian donated the
money he had set aside for a car to purchase the supplies to repair it.
Trixie had given Aunt Nell’s engagement ring to Mr. Lytell
as collateral, so he would not sell the car to anyone else, but reserve it
for Brian. Trixie and Honey had earned the money as gamekeepers so they could
repay Brian and he could purchase his jalopy. By the time the blizzard hit at the end of Thanksgiving
break, the clubhouse was safe and snug, Brian had the money for his jalopy,
and Trixie got her ring back. Ben, the
Wheelers’ nephew, was visiting and he and the Bob-Whites were going sledding
at the Manor House. Trixie explained how Brian was on his way to pick up his
jalopy from Mr. Lytell and how thankful he was.
Suddenly she turned to Jim. “Brian keeps on thanking me because Mr. Lytell didn’t sell the car to a secondhand dealer, but he
really should thank you. If it hadn’t been for that ring you gave me, Jim…” “What’s all this about a ring?” Ben interrupted. “It
sounds as though you were engaged or something.” Trixie sniffed. “If Jim were the last man on earth, I
wouldn’t marry him.” “Is that so?” Jim gave her a gentle push, and Trixie
found herself sitting in the snow bank with Di. “Do you think I’d get myself engaged to anybody as dumb
as that?” Jim asked Ben. “No,” Ben admitted. “But why did you give her a ring? I
wouldn’t even give her a ring on the phone.” Jim relented then and helped Trixie to her feet. “On
you,” he said, “snow looks good. You should wear it more frequently.
Especially on your eyelashes. Much more becoming that mascara.” In spite of all his joking, Jim had to swallow the lump
in his throat at the mention of giving Trixie a ring. Deep inside, he knew someday
he would give her a ring, and he
would pray she wouldn’t toss it back in his face. After that Thanksgiving, Jim
decided he needed to be a bit more obvious about his feelings toward Trixie.
Her “yen for Ben”, though pretend, had disturbed him more than he liked to
admit. He intended on making it clear to her that she was his special girl. Jim remembered the
conversation he had with his father the day of his death… “Jim, my boy, let
this be a lesson to you,” his father said, patting him on the back. “When the
time comes for you to find a special girl, find you one with spunk. Because
if you get one with a little spirit, I can assure you that life will never be
boring.” “What if the girl I like doesn’t like me back?” Jim
asked. “Then, my boy, you need to woo her. All special girls need wooing.” Jim scrunched up his face. “What’s that? Sounds kinda gross?” “Well, you woo a girl by sending fond glances her way.
Just look at her like you think she’s the most special girl in the entire
world. And be her knight in shining armor. Help her out if she gets in
trouble. And if you really think she’s special, give her flowers.” “What kind of flowers?”
Jim said, committing his father’s advice to memory. “Well, different girls like different kinds of flowers.
Mostly, men give their girlfriends or wives roses or carnations. But between you and me, Jim, I think a special girl deserves a special flower. I always
liked to send your mother orchids. While Amy and Rhonda and all her other
friends were receiving identical bouquets of red roses, your mom was the only
one with a large vase of white orchids.” “Did it work?” Win gave a hearty laugh. “Well, it must have! She
married me!” “What do you do after the fond glances, rescuing, and
orchids?” Win studied his son. “I thought you felt this stuff was
‘kinda gross’?” Jim shrugged his shoulders and gave his dad a lopsided
grin. “I gotta learn it sometime.” Win chuckled and said, “I’ll tell you more when you get
older. I don’t want you married off too soon.” Jim suddenly looked quite serious. “When I do find a
special girl, she’s gonna be just like Mom.” “That’s a keen idea, son.” Win hugged his son. “Now we
better get back to this work before your mom skins us!” Since he had come to Sleepyside,
Jim had given Trixie many fond glances. After the “yen for Ben” incident, he
decided to move on to step two of his father’s advice. A Valentine’s party at
Diana’s house provided the perfect opportunity… Jim biked to the florist’s shop in Sleepyside. He nervously
swung open the door and jumped as the bell jingled, announcing his arrival. A kindly, elderly lady looked up from the romance story
she was reading. “May I help you, son?” she inquired. Jim clenched his fists trying to quench his nerves.
“Yes, I need a corsage for Valentine’s Day,” he stated in his most
authoritative voice. “What a thoughtful young man you are!” the lady replied.
“Will this be for your mother?” Jim shuffled his feet nervously. “No,” he answered.
“It’s for a… friend.” The lady smiled knowingly and put down her romance novel
and picked up her pad that she used to fill out orders. “A very special
friend, I assume?” Jim nodded, silently beseeching the Lord to either
deliver him from this snoopy lady or have the floor open up and swallow him. Although the lady was quite curious, she wisely decided
to forego any further questions. “I’m assuming you want red or pink
carnations…” “No!” Jim interrupted. “I wanted to get something a
little bit more special, like…” “Roses!” the lady exclaimed, pulling some lovely
sweetheart roses out of the refrigerator by the counter. “Red roses would be
absolutely perfect for Valentine’s Day!” “Actually, I wanted orchids,” Jim corrected, shoving his
hands in his pockets. “White orchids, if you have them.” The lady looked at Jim with a shocked expression on her
wrinkled face. She adjusted the glasses on her nose as if that would improve
her hearing. “White orchids? Son, they are very expensive, especially this
time of the year. Maybe you should reconsider. We have some lovely pink roses
if you don’t like the red ones…” Jim shook his head. “No, it has to be white orchids. Do
you have them, or should I go someplace else?” “We have them, but I’m not sure you can afford them. Do
you have enough money, son?” It seemed as if the lady expected Jim to dump
the contents of his piggy bank on the counter. Jim pulled out his leather wallet. “I’m sure I have
enough to cover the corsage. If I don’t, I’m sure my father, Matthew Wheeler,
would be happy to cover the difference.” The lady dropped her order pad. Instantly, she
recognized the name of Sleepyside’s richest
citizen. If his son wanted
orchids, she supposed he could afford them. “And what is the delivery
address?” she asked, picking up her order form again. “Trixie Belden on Glen Road,” Jim told her. The florist smiled and wrote that down on her pad. “Yes,
I know that address. Although, usually we’re delivering flowers to Helen
Belden instead of Trixie. And when do you want the corsage to be delivered?” “Friday,” Jim answered. “Could you deliver it in the
late afternoon?” The lady nodded. “If you’d like to fill out a card to
send with the corsage, they are right here.” She pointed to the stack of
cards and matching envelopes on the counter. Jim picked one up, thought for a moment, and scribbled
something on the card. “Dear Trixie, I
really think you’re swell. Could you save a dance
for me? Love, Jim” After reading what he had written, Jim sighed and
crumpled up the card. Sounds
like something Wally Cleaver would write, he thought in disgust. Picking up another card, he wrote, “Yo,
Trix! Since I shelled out all the money for this flower, the least you could
do is save me a dance or two. Jim.” After reading it, Jim groaned silently and tore it in
two. Sounds too Neanderthal,
he decided. Ignoring the amused expression on the florist’s face, he
picked up another card and carefully chose the words to write. With a
trembling hand, he penned, “Dear Schoolgirl Shamus: Is this your first
orchid? I hope so. See you tonight. Jim” Deciding that was as good as it was going to get, he
nervously put the card in the envelope, wrote “Trixie” on it, and sealed it.
After paying for his purchase, he practically ran out of the flower shop and
furiously pedaled home, hoping to calm his nerves. As long as he lived, Jim would never forget the vision
Trixie created the night of the Valentine’s party. She was wearing a white
knit dress with a Peter Pan collar, and lo and behold, nylons and high heels!
He grimaced a moment at the shade of the shoes, but decided he liked them
after he noticed how shapely they made Trixie’s legs look. Jim swallowed
nervously, trying to think of something clever to this lovely creature. “Hi, Cinderella!” he replied. He desperately hoped
Trixie could not hear his pounding heart. He stepped closer and caught a
whiff of perfume. The scent made his heart flutter even more, and he was
overcome with the desire to whisk Trixie off to the dance floor and bury his
head in her shoulder to smell it even better. “Some dress!” he continued.
“You smell wonderful, too.” “It’s Moms’ perfume,” Trixie grinned. “The orchid is
super, Jim. Thanks!” “Trade it for a dance,” Jim said, watching Trixie walk
away to her join her friends. He sighed as he watched her practically float
away. Later that evening, as they danced, Jim decided holding
Trixie was a little bit of heaven on earth. When the refreshments were ready,
he and Trixie took plates of food to the seat in front of the window. The
light of the full moon etched shadows of the bare trees on glistening snow.
There were millions of stars twinkling in the sky, but Jim thought he would
rather gaze in Trixie’s eyes any day. Jim nervously scanned the room for a glimpse of Trixie’s
brothers. Mart was making his third trip to the refreshment table, and Brian
was dancing with Honey. Jim looked at Trixie. She had finished her hamburger
and had laid her head against the couch, a dreamy expression on her face. Jim
gathered his courage, licked his lips, and moved in closer for a kiss. However, before he could, Trixie suddenly jerked her
head to awareness. “That light,” she whispered to Jim. “It’s Regan with a
lantern. He’s running toward the clubhouse.” So, Jim’s attempt at a first kiss was halted. In the
end, Trixie got her man, but Jim did not get his kiss. Finally, spring came, and the
Bob-Whites headed to While in It wasn’t hard to tell which of the players Ned Shultz
was. He was the tallest, the darkest, and the handsomest. Jim watched as
Honey smoothed back her long hair and Diana batted her curly lashes for a
better look at him. Jim grinned at
the girls’ reaction to “The Sheik”, as Ned was apparently known around these
parts. A quick scan around the bleachers told him that many of the local
girls were members of the “Ned fan club” as well. Several of the young ladies
in the gymnasium were giggling as Ned practiced his foul shots. They “oohed and aahed” as each shot
swished through the net. Jim rolled his eyes and turned to Trixie, who was
sitting to his right. Surely, he could count on her to have a sensible
reaction to “The Sheik”. To his surprise, and daresay extreme disappointment,
Trixie’s eyes were glued to Ned. She watched his quick, perfectly timed
progress around the floor. Ned ran close to the basket, and at precisely the
right moment, jumped to slam-dunk the basketball. Jim silently prayed that
the handsome player might not only miss, but land on his face on the gym
floor. However, the ball ripped through the basket, and Trixie whistled in
admiration. If Jim’s eyes hadn’t already been green, they surely would
have turned that shade from jealousy as “The Sheik” came over to speak to the
Bob-Whites. He gritted his teeth in silence as Ned spoke to the others. After
finding out that the other team had been delayed, he offered to let Mart,
Brian, and Jim to take a few shots. Jim opened his mouth to decline when Mart
piped up, “That’ll be keen.” After some ribbing from the Rivervale
players, Mart showed off his talent at faking and dribbling, and flipped the
ball accurately into the net. Brian caught it on the bounce, took a few
practice dribbles, then sunk a shot from mid-court. After a bit of clowning by Mart, Jim retrieved the ball
and sunk several shots from around the court. Later on, he proudly watched as
Trixie was coaxed onto the court and sunk several baskets. His jealousy
returned, however, when Ned later lavished praise on the sandy blond. Jim’s
ears turned as red as his hair when he noticed Trixie’s blush. That blush was usually reserved for him.
Rivervale easily won the game, seventy-six to forty-two. Afterwards,
several boys milled around Honey and Diana, booking them for dances later.
Jim was pleased to note that Trixie stayed close by his side, but his
pleasure soon faded when he saw the wistful expression pass Trixie’s face as
she watched the attention received by her two friends. Before the dance, Trixie, Honey, and Diana went to the
restroom to freshen up. When they returned, Jim quickly took his position at
Trixie’s side, hoping to dissuade any attention she might receive. “Mmmm, you smell like a flower shop,” he whispered in her
ear as they were heading into the gym for the dance. Suddenly, a group of boys heading toward Honey and Diana
shoved between Trixie and Jim. As he attempted to make his way back to
Trixie, a tall blonde girl grabbed him by the arm. “Excuse me,” he said
politely. “I need to get back to my friends.” The blonde girl pouted and batted her eyes at Jim.
“Don’t you have a minute just to visit?” she cooed. “Well, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t want to
leave my friend alone,” Jim stated, scanning the room for Trixie. “Are you talking about the curly-haired blonde who made
all those shots?” the girl asked. After Jim nodded, the tall blonde pointed
to a crowd of basketball players, and only then did Jim notice that Trixie was
in the center of the circle. Jim’s heart sank as he noticed “The Sheik” and another
boy were jockeying for position near Trixie. How am I supposed to compete with that? he thought miserably. What chance does red,
freckled, and boring have against tall, dark, and handsome? Taking advantage of his distraction, the tall blonde
pulled him to a place at the long table. Jim could not see Trixie from this
view, so he put his arm across the chair back of the tall blonde and leaned
over to increase his vantage point. As he did, he saw “The Sheik” lead Trixie
to the dance floor. Jim tried his best to be polite to the tall blonde,
whose name he learned was Dot. He attempted to look interested as she
prattled on about ice skating. He stifled a yawn as she described how
“utterly adorable” her costume for the Figure Skating Club competition was.
Finally, he shut her out completely and muttered an occasion “Really?” as he
glared at “The Sheik” and Trixie. The jealous redhead was trying his best to read lips
when he vaguely heard Dot ask a question. Wanting to hurry up and get her out
of his hair, he replied, “Sure,” and tried to figure out what “The Sheik” had
asked Trixie. However, he learned a valuable lesson about giving an answer
when you haven’t heard the question, as Dot dragged him to the dance floor. He was in total misery as he danced with Dot. Her
perfume was not only overwhelming, it reeked to high heaven. He would much
rather inhale another girl’s sweet-smelling scent. If that wasn’t bad enough,
when Dot faced Jim and commented how wonderful the band was, Jim noticed how
rank her Marlboro breath was. Man, she needs to try that brushing the tongue thing, he thought
grimly. Then the music slowed. Jim and Dot stopped just in front
of Trixie and “The Sheik”. Jim discreetly tried to pull away from the girl,
but discovered she had apparently super-glued herself to his arm. “Some band,” Jim said. Not wanting to be rude, he
quickly introduced Dot to Trixie. “Next dance, Trix?” he asked hopefully as
the music started back up and people began moving to the dance floor. Then, Trixie said the sweetest words Jim had ever heard.
“Yes, Jim,” and she put her hand in his, and he was happy. While they were dancing, Trixie said, “It isn’t the same
here as it is at our dances at home. I must have danced with a dozen
different boys instead of just one.” Jim’s heart broke at her words, knowing he was usually the one Trixie danced
with. All this time, he had thought Trixie chose to dance only with him. “Yes, I noticed you were having quite a ball,” Jim said,
trying to mask the hurt he felt. “Are you really having a good time? Ned
Shultz seems to have the Indian sign on you.” “And Dot seems to have the Indian sign on you. You’ve
been her slave all evening!” Jim carefully studied Trixie’s expression. Was that jealousy he saw? “Why, Trixie.” He stopped dancing right in the middle
of the floor and led Trixie to a bench at the side of the room. “You’re
fooling!” “I’m not! If you like that glamour type best, you’re
just welcome to her. I mean it!” Jim was so shocked (not to mention a bit pleased) at
Trixie’s obvious envy that his next words popped out without much thought to
their implication. “I like both kinds. Dot is glamorous. She’s really
glamorous. She went out of her way to be nice to me, and I appreciate it.” “I can see that you do,” Trixie replied with a hint of
sarcasm in her voice. Then her voice grew wistful as she added, “Oh, Jim, I
wish I’d been born beautiful!” Jim gulped. Did Trixie really think she wasn’t
beautiful? He thought Trixie was the prettiest girl he’d ever seen. To him,
no other girl could compare to his
schoolgirl shamus. He loved her curls, especially that one that hung in the
middle of her forehead that he liked to tug. He especially liked them when
they were wild and out of control, and needed combing. When she gave that
little indignant sniff and tossed her head, he had to catch his breath every
single time. He adored her
wide, china blue eyes that seemed to grow even larger when she was on the
trail of a mystery. He marveled at her freckles and spent several hours
secretly memorizing the placement of each one. He fantasized about her soft,
full lips, wondering what it would be like to finally kiss them. He battled his
honorability constantly when he thought about her figure. Trixie referred to
it as “sturdy”, but Jim preferred “shapely”. She was beginning to get curves
in all the right places. He much preferred her curvaceous form to some of the
rail-thin girls that Trixie admired so. Jim’s mind raced, and he fought to untie his tongue.
Should he tell her how beautiful she was? If he did, would she be flattered,
be happy, or be appalled that he felt that way? Or should he… “The other kind of girl,” he went on nervously, “didn’t
dress up just to impress me or any other boy. She never does. She’s genuine
and so comfortable to be around. She’s my choice of the two. Right now her
sandy curls need combing, and she sure could use some lipstick!” He mentally
smacked himself in the head, wondering how he could say something so dumb. However, his words seemed to appease Trixie for the time
being. Jim later wondered if he had said the right thing, but tried to
dismiss it from his mind. Coming home from that trip, he had stopped in a
jewelry shop and gotten a silver identification bracelet. After having his
name engraved on it, he had it wrapped and nervously presented it to Trixie
on the plane ride home. From then on, all the other
boys at school knew that Jim and Trixie were special to one another. They had
never officially started “going steady”, but everyone assumed they were, so
Jim never talked to Trixie about it. Although he wanted to make things
official, he knew Mr. Belden would never allow her to be serious about just
one boy, as young as she was. The “special girl” agreement
wasn’t a problem until Trixie’s senior prom. Jim had planned to attend until
the date had to be changed at the last minute. She cried, he apologized, she
threatened to stay home, and he told her to go with Dan or Nick Roberts. The
last thing he heard from Honey was that Trixie was going, but that she
was going alone. On prom night, Jim’s appointments were cancelled, and he
joyfully raced to Crabapple Farm. Looking back, he knew he should have called
to tell Trixie he was coming, but he was afraid he would be late if he
stopped at a phone. He meant to show up just before she left to surprise her.
Instead, he
was the one who was surprised. For lo and behold, there was Tad Webster, the big-time
jock, pinning a corsage on his
special girl and kissing his
special girl’s cheek. That didn’t surprise Jim. He had always thought Tad had
a crush on Trixie. What surprised him was how Trixie reacted to that kiss.
She giggled and looked as if she enjoyed it! Jim felt betrayed and rejected. He had always been
jealous when the all-American looking guys like Tad, Peter Kimball, and Ned
“The Sheik” Shultz had paid Trixie attention. How could he compete with them?
Why would Trixie want some redheaded step-kid when she could have Mr.
All-American Athlete? He left without anyone seeing him. He never told a soul
what he had seen, not even Brian, and especially not Honey. He buried his
hurt at Trixie’s rejection along with all his other pain. By now, he had quite a mound of bitterness that had
taken root… The best thing to do, he had told himself, is to find somebody else
and forget all about Trixie. Easier said than done. He returned from college
several weeks later and announced he had a girlfriend. He purposely watched
Trixie for any reaction, but he couldn’t read her expression. He suffered
right along with everyone else through the ABC parade of dumb blondes, as
Mart so eloquently called them, while deep in his heart, he ached for Trixie. He watched for any sign that she was
interested in him, but so far, he hadn’t seen any indication that she wanted
to be more than friends. She only occasionally dated, so Jim assumed that she
was more interested in her detective work than in having a serious
relationship. Jim desired a family of his
own more than anything else. He thought that might help lessen all the pain
he had buried deep inside. He wanted a loving wife who would support his
dream of the school; he dreamed of having children of his own. In those
dreams, he always had a little girl with sandy curls and wide, china blue
eyes and a boy with hair just as red as his father’s. He was dating Tiffany
something or another when he met Amanda Woodward at a charity event he had attended
with his father. He was immediately captivated by her beauty, and she seemed
to be a nice person, as well. She was intelligent, had her own business, and
came from a wealthy, well-connected family. But, perhaps what Jim liked best
was that Amanda had a concern for troubled children and worked with many
charities raising money for them. Jim spent a lot of time with
Amanda and grew very fond of her. They had common interests, and their dates
were always pleasant. She used her father’s connections to find donations for
his school and eagerly attended fundraisers.
They had been dating for over
a year now. She obviously expected Jim to take the next step in their
relationship and ask her to marry him. At the last dinner they attended, her
father told him what an asset a good wife is in the business world. Jim took
that as a hint to buy a ring. But something was holding him back. Or rather, someone. In the back of his mind, Jim
still dreamed of Trixie. Without a doubt, he knew that he had fallen head over
heels in love with Trixie Belden the second they locked eyes for the first
time. He had a connection with her that was unlike any he had ever shared
with another person. Though he tried to hide his insecurities to those around
him, Trixie seemed able to peer into his very soul with one glance. No matter what he did, he
could not get Trixie out of his system. No matter how many gorgeous blondes
he dated, his heart drifted back to the most beautiful girl he knew. Every
time he tried to get serious in a relationship, his mind wandered back to a
single kiss shared many years ago. No other memory was as precious to Jim as
the memory of his first real kiss. One’s first kiss is always
special, but this was beyond that. This kiss, though brief, unlocked all the
secrets of the universe. Though
several kisses with other people had been less awkward and lengthier, none
had ever surpassed that first kiss’ passion and intensity. No kiss since had
ever made Jim feel so hot, yet so chilled; so weak, yet so exhilarated; so
wanting, yet so complete. His senses
were both heightened and deadened. His pulse pounded, yet his heart stopped.
It gave the term “mysterious” an entirely new meaning. And no kiss had ever had that
same effect on him since. Jim had never told a soul
about that kiss, and he was sure she hadn’t, either. But after that kiss, he
knew his soul would never be complete until he made Trixie Belden his wife. Not long after that first
kiss, he had asked Peter Belden for his great-aunt’s engagement ring so that
he could have it reset for Trixie. Jim explained his honorable intentions to
Mr. Belden and asked permission to propose once Trixie graduated from high
school. He promised they would have a long engagement, and not marry until
she had finished college. Jim nervously rambled on
about the benefits of always being prepared, and most likely would have
chattered all day if Peter Belden had not stopped him. Having known for years
that this day would come, Trixie’s father agreed to give the ring to him, but
reminded Jim of his promises to wait until college to marry. After a few
vividly described threats about what would happen if his baby girl’s heart
was ever broken, Peter slapped Jim on the back and told him there was nobody
he would rather have as a son-in-law. Someday. In the distant future, that
is. After the prom mishap, Jim
tried to give the ring back to Peter, but he told Jim to hang onto it for
safe-keeping. Jim didn’t understand why, but he did as Peter asked and kept
it in his father’s security box at the bank. And there it remained until
recently. Jim stood and walked over to
his father’s wall vault in the study. He knew the combination, opened it and
pulled out two small boxes. He opened the first. A two-carat Cartier diamond
twinkled brightly. He studied it a bit, and then laid it on the desk. Hesitantly, he opened the
other jeweler’s case. The ring nestled in that box was a one-of-a-kind
design. The stone was not as large as the first ring’s, but its quality was
more impressive. One could tell by the design that this ring was an antique
that had been carefully reset. Jim laid this box on the desk, as well. He studied both rings and debated in his
mind what to do. One ring was beautiful and expensive. It was from the best
store and would be admired by all who saw it. The design was typical and,
therefore, safe. He had no worries that that particular ring would be
welcomed to its intended recipient. The other ring was less
ornate, but it had a certain quality. Something about it made it stand out
from all the others. It was different from most engagement rings of today,
but that made it even more valuable. Because its stone wasn’t extremely
large, that ring may not be noticed upon first glance, but once one studied
it, they would find it was the rarest and most precious of gems. And so the debate resumed
between Jim’s head and his heart. In his head, he knew Amanda would be
thrilled to become his wife. There was no fear of rejection. He knew without
a doubt that Amanda loved him. And he loved her, although he wasn’t sure he
was in love with her. However, his heart seemed to
say “Trixie” with each and every beat. To follow his heart, Jim would have to
battle every single demon he had buried inside. Rejection, fear of
abandonment, an inferiority complex; he must face them all. This road was
less sure, for he had no idea how Trixie truly felt about him. She seemed
content to work at the agency and stay in her “rut”, as she had said earlier.
Deep down, Jim knew he would never
love anyone the way he loved Trixie. But did she love him back, or would he
be forced to face another painful rejection? He considered all his
options, took a deep breath, made a reluctant choice, and, with a trembling
hand, picked up a box from the desk. Now to find the girl…
Thank
you to my lovely editors, Kathy and Kaye! I was very insecure about posting
this, but they were very encouraging! Thank you all so much for all your
help! I know these
stories have mostly had a lighthearted approach to them, but Jim desperately
wanted me to tell his side of the story. Jim could not have endured the
trials he did and not have any emotional scars to show for it. This fanfic explores some of his wounds. Maybe now that Jim
has admitted them to me, he will be able to begin the healing process. The
“hair needs combing and she sure could use some lipstick” and the
“comfortable and genuine” comments have long been debated. Once again, I had
to explain something that bugged me. I never felt Jim meant anything mean by
what he said. I always thought his words just didn’t come out right. Several
books were quoted without permission, such as Mystery Off Were you
surprised by the mention of some kiss that apparently happened years ago?
Yeah, me too! But I finally gave into Jim’s cajoling. More about that kiss in
a Here
and Now universe story, What
Are You Doing New Year’s Eve? The
Marlboro breath was a concoction of the glorious Kathy! I thought it was
hysterical, and I wanted to make sure she had the credit for it! Once
again, if you’re interested, visit the Blooper Reel for my
attempt at humor. *G*
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