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Love’s
Journey Madeleine’s
Story
This story takes place
in my Portraits of the
Past Universe during Red Trailer
Mystery and precedes my traditional Here and Now and Glimpses into the Future universes.
Love’s Journey parallels my What Might Have Been
alternate universe, where Madeleine dies of an overdose, and this story
answers the question why she survived in the traditional universes. This is
the first story in my Journey Trilogy. Dear Mother and Daddy, I hope you are having a perfectly perfect time in We’ve had a marvelous time searching for Jim Frayne. We haven’t
found him yet, but I know we will. Trixie, my new best friend, is
determined to find him, and although she isn’t a professional private
investigator, she’s very smart about figuring things out. Why, I’ll bet
someday she’ll have her very own detective agency. Don’t be surprised if we
find Jim in the near future! Mother and Daddy, that is why I’m
writing to you. Once we find Jim, I’m afraid the authorities will take him
away from us. If the police force him to go back to his horrible stepfather,
I don’t know what I’d do. Jim’s mother, Katie, had married Jonesy after Jim’s
father died, and when Katie died a few years later, Jonesy got custody of
Jim. He beats Jim terribly, and it breaks my heart thinking of him going back
to that wicked man. I’m afraid Jonesy will kill Jim to get his inheritance.
He burned down Jim’s great-uncle’s house, thinking Jim was in it. If only old
Mr. Frayne hadn’t died before he could adopt Jim, we wouldn’t have had
anything to worry about. Trixie calls Jim “the most wonderful boy in the world”, and
although she likes him in a different way than I do, I have to agree with
her. He’s so very strong and determined, not to mention honorable. Jim’s just the best at nature things, and
he knows just about everything about animals. In fact, Jim knows something
about everything! Why, he’s the smartest boy I’ve ever met. Jim reminds me a
lot of you, Daddy. Why, he looks so much like you that you could be his
father! I know you would love Jim if you could only meet him. Daddy, I know you’ve always wanted a son, and Mother, wouldn’t
it be perfectly perfect to have a son that looks so much like Daddy? He’d be
practically grown up, so at least we wouldn’t have to change his diapers or
get up with him at night. And I’m sure he’d be a big help around Manor House.
Why, I know he’d help Regan exercise the horses. You should see how well he
rides horseback! But I guess I’m babbling on and on
now. I know Jim would be the best son you could ever hope for, and
I would be thrilled to have such a doting brother. He’s been so kind to me,
and he even called me a good sport! Me! So I guess what I’m asking is, could
we adopt Jim? You, Daddy and Mother, I mean. That way Jim would have a home
where he would be safe, and I could have my very own full-blooded adopted
brother. I know with all your money, Daddy, you could take care of everything
and get the court to let you adopt him. You know I don’t often ask for things, but this is very
important to me. I feel in my heart that this is the answer to all our
problems, and not only our problems, but also Jim’s. I can’t explain
it, but Jim needs to be in Sleepyside with us. If we adopt Jim, I just
know things will work out. I know you will make the right decision. Daddy, I hope your business trip is going well, and Mother, I
hope you are having fun also. I look forward to your return. There is so much
I need to tell you. Your loving daughter, Honey P.S. No matter what you decide, I love you both very much, and
I hope you aren’t angry with me for asking. Matthew
Wheeler sighed wearily as he folded up the letter he and his wife had
received from their daughter. He rested his forehead in the palm of one hand,
massaging his crinkled temples with his fingertips. His wife, Madeleine,
emerged from their hotel suite’s dressing room. She held the ends of a thick
gold chain behind her head, making sure the emerald slide stayed centered on
the hollow of her neck. “Could you help me with this, dear?” As she sat down
on the sofa beside her husband, she immediately noticed his distressed
expression. “Matthew, what’s wrong?” “Just this
letter from Honey,” he murmured. With gentle hands, he fastened his wife’s
necklace. Before smoothing her light-brown tresses over the collar of the silk
blouse his wife was wearing, he placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck. “What’s wrong
with Honey?” Madeleine’s large hazel eyes widened with fear at the
possibility of anything happening to her daughter. “She’s all right, isn’t
she?” Matthew placed
a comforting arm around his wife’s slim shoulders and kissed her cheek.
“Honey’s fine,” he assured her. “I was just surprised by a question she
asked.” Without further
explanation, Matthew handed Honey’s letter to Madeleine. She accepted the
missive at bit hesitantly, apprehensive about what
could so upset her steadfast spouse. Matthew watched
her open the letter, intently studying her expression as her eyes pored over
the contents. As he expected, her eyes narrowed when she read one part in
particular, and then widened as she neared the end. When she was
finished reading, Madeleine re-folded it, her trembling hands barely able to
complete the task. Knowing her husband was expecting a response, she took a
deep breath and then whispered, “Oh my.” Matthew nodded,
silently mulling which words would be appropriate. After what seemed like an
eternity, he said the only thing that came to mind. “What do you think?” “What do I think?” Madeleine repeated.
She began wringing her hands, her eyes darting all around the extravagantly
decorated room. “Matthew, I’m not sure what I should think. That’s a lot of information to take in.” Matthew exhaled
loudly. “I know it sounds absurd and that this is sudden, but I want to adopt
him, Maddie.” “You can’t be
serious,” Madeleine gasped, her brow wrinkling in disbelief. “If Jim’s
parents are who I think they are, I have no choice; I must help Jim.” “Oh, Matthew.”
By her tone, it was obvious Madeleine did not agree. “I can’t believe they’re
dead.” Matthew’s broad shoulders sagged as that piece of information swirled
around in his already spinning mind. “They were so vibrant, so alive. It
seems like only yesterday I was at their wedding.” “I know,”
Madeleine murmured, a frown marring her delicate brow. “We were so
close, sweetheart,” Matthew went on. “I just can’t turn his son away when he
desperately needs my help.” Madeleine
placed a slender hand on Matthew’s arm. “This isn’t a decision we should rush
into, love.” “You don’t like
the idea?” She allowed the
question to hang in the room for several moments. After taking a deep breath,
she finally answered, “I didn’t say that. But you have to admit that it’s a
lot to consider, especially with the history.” Matthew nodded
again, this time in affirmation. “So you agree that it appears that Jim is
Win’s son.” “Yes.”
Madeleine swallowed again, this time to keep the bile that was rising up in
her throat at bay. She tightly clenched her shaking hands, strangely comforted
by the fact that her long fingernails were painfully digging into her palms. Matthew was
positive his wife had already noticed the clues, but for some reason, he felt
it necessary to point them out aloud. “Jim has to be Win’s son. The boy’s last name is Frayne, and that
isn’t a common name.” “Didn’t you get
some sort of birth announcement from Win shortly after we married?” Madeleine
questioned. “Yes,” Matthew
affirmed. “Jim would be the right age. And from Honey’s description, he
certainly reminds me of Win, what with the woodsman knowledge and all.” Madeleine
inhaled sharply, her mouth pursed in suppressed anger as another thought
occurred to her. “And don’t forget Jim’s mother, Matthew,” she said, looking
pointedly at her husband. “Honey told us her name was Katie.” “Yes, that fits,” Matthew replied, choosing
to ignore his wife’s malicious tone. “Jim is exactly how I’d expect Win’s son
to be.” Madeleine
narrowed her expressive eyes. “If Win
is Jim’s father, that is.” “It sounds like
he is,” Matthew said, unaware of what his wife was insinuating. “I don’t
think it’s a coincidence that his last name is Frayne and his mother’s name
is Katie.” “Oh, I have no
doubt that Jim was raised by Win, and that his mother is Katie,” Madeleine
responded with underlying cynicism. “My only question is if Win’s truly Jim’s biological father.” Matthew’s head
whipped around, pinning his wife’s stormy hazel eyes with a frosty green
glare. His sandy brows met in a deep groove above the bridge of his nose as
he glared at her. “Exactly what are
you saying?” he asked tersely. Madeleine held
his gaze. Though most people would find her husband’s demeanor intimidating,
she did not. They had been through far too much for her to back down now. She
shrugged her shoulders, her chin lifted proudly as she met his challenge. “Honey says in
her letter that Jim looks exactly like you,” Madeleine replied evenly. “You
have to admit, Matthew, considering your history with Katie,
it’s a very interesting theory.” “What history with Katie?” Matthew stormed,
jumping to his feet so he could pace the floor as he did when he was very
agitated. “How could you even think
such a thing?” “What do you
expect me to think? According to our daughter, Katie’s son is the image of
you.” “That’s only
because I have red hair and green eyes like Jim’s father… Jim’s real father!” Matthew barked
impatiently. “Honey also thinks Regan looks exactly like me, and I certainly
didn’t beget him!” Madeleine
smiled sardonically, her hazel eyes sparking with indignation. “If you aren’t
Jim’s father, then why are you so angry, Matthew?” “Because my
wife thinks I impregnated my best friend’s girlfriend!” Matthew spat, waving
his hands around to express his frustration. “I thought we were past all these
ridiculous insecurities, Maddie! How could you think that of me?” Madeleine
remained calm, refusing to allow her tumultuous thoughts to make her appear
less than composed. She knew her calm demeanor infuriated her temperamental
husband. “It’s simple; because you were in love with Katie.” “But that
doesn’t mean I fathered her child!” Matthew insisted angrily. “After all the
lies, forgive me if I don’t believe your claims of innocence,” Madeleine
retorted coldly. Matthew spun
around to face her, his hands clutching his red hair. “We’ve been through
this time and time again, Maddie! Yes,
I was in love with Katie, but
nothing ever came of it. Win married Katie, and I---” “Settled for
me,” Madeleine interrupted. No longer able to keep her mask of indifference
in place, her voice wavered slightly. Angry with herself for showing any sort
of outward emotion, she turned her head away slightly so her husband would
not notice the tears misting in her eyes. However, she
was too late; although he didn’t see the tears, he felt her inner turmoil. Even after
years of marriage, Madeleine remained a mystery to him. While Matthew
exploded in a fiery rage during one of his temperamental fits, she would grow
cold and indifferent, protected in her frozen castle of solitude. Fire and ice. Each equally destructive in
the right circumstances. Only recently had Matthew and
Madeleine learned how well they suited one another. Like opposing forces,
they attracted each other until they were both balanced. She cooled his red-hot
temper, and he thawed her icy heart. He was prepared
for the cold; arctic blasts were a frequent happening in the Wheeler
household. However, it was his wife’s emotional display that disturbed him,
as well as encouraged him. He was relieved that she was sharing her true
feelings, but he hated to see her suffer. Especially when he knew he was the cause of her
suffering. Matthew settled
back down on the sofa and gripped each of his wife’s shoulders. “I did not settle for you,” he responded, his
voice husky with emotion. He inhaled sharply as Madeleine slowly turned to
look at him. Her large hazel eyes were wide and tear-filled, and her
complexion was deathly pale. Her chin quivered as she allowed him to finally
see a glimpse of the real Madeleine. She wasn’t just
hurt or angry; she was haunted. When Madeleine
did not respond, Matthew shook her gently. “The ghosts of the past can’t hurt
us, sweetheart. We’re too strong, our love
is too strong. You’ve got to let this go.”
Weary from
burying her feelings, Madeleine finally broke down. “I-I’m so sorry.” “It’s not your
fault, love,” Matthew cooed. “I-I-I wished
she would die,” Madeleine cried. “I didn’t m-m-mean it, though. I just wanted
you to l-love me.” “I do love you. We’ve talked about this several times in the past
year, sweetheart. No, I wasn’t in love with you when we married. I was
devastated when Katie married Win. I married you on the rebound. But when I
almost lost you…” Matthew
frantically clutched his wife to his chest, placing her cheek upon his heart.
He stroked her hair, as he, for the millionth time, silently berated himself
about the past. “I love you more than anything.” “I love you
too,” Madeleine murmured. “So very, very
much.” “If only I
could take it all back. I’d make it up to you.” After several minutes,
Madeleine eased away from her husband’s sheltering embrace. She cupped her
hands around his cheeks and drew his face down to hers. “It worked out
for the best, my love,” Madeleine whispered, tears streaming down her high
cheekbones. “All our mistakes, all our misgivings, all our misfortunes,
they’ve brought us to this point, Matthew. If I hadn’t overdosed that night,
I never would’ve admitted to you all the hurt I’d been harboring, and we never
would’ve reconciled.” “I’m just glad
I went in your room to talk to you when I did that evening. If I had waited
any longer, the doctors may not have been able to save you.” Matthew tenderly
kissed her forehead, dismissing what
might have been from his mind. “I love you with all my heart, Maddie.
I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting my foolishness.” “And I’ll
regret mine,” Madeleine countered, her voice thick with remorse. She leaned
forward slightly, resting her forehead against his. “I’m so sorry for
doubting you, darling. I suppose I still feel a lot of bitterness towards
Katie. When Honey said Jim looked like you I went crazy with jealousy.” “I understand.”
He buried his hands in the back of Madeleine’s honey-colored hair drawing her
face close to his. With great tenderness, his lips met hers. Once the kiss
ended, Matthew tucked a strand of brownish-gold hair behind her ear. “I
suppose we’ll have to tell Honey that we can’t adopt Jim.” “I didn’t say
that.” Madeleine’s voice was so quiet that Matthew could barely hear her. With the tips
of his long fingers, he gently tilted her face upward. “Maddie, you can’t
seriously be considering this?” he asked in disbelief. Madeleine
giggled, her tinkling laugh never failing to amuse her husband in spite of
the seriousness of the topic. “Dear, I thought I was going to talk you out
of this idea, not the other way around.” “That was
before I knew how much even the mention of Katie’s name would bother you.”
Matthew gripped his wife’s hand and kissed it. “I’d never forgive myself if
this caused further problems in our marriage, sweetheart. Nothing is worth
turmoil in our home, especially when we’ve just fallen into love with one
another all over again.” “I’d be lying
if I said I’d never think of Katie when I looked at Jim,” Madeleine admitted.
“But I might actually find it therapeutic to adopt him.” “Darling,
there’s no ‘might’ about it,” Matthew honestly observed. “If we adopt Jim,
there’s no going back. He’ll be a part of our lives forever.” Madeleine
nodded slowly. “I know that. But I’m mature enough to know that it’s not
Jim’s fault that you were in love with his mother. If I could do a good deed
for Katie by helping her son, I feel like I could put that unhappy time
behind me. The boy can’t go back to his cruel stepfather. I cringe thinking
what that man would do to him.” Matthew’s forehead furrowed at
the mention of Jim’s abuse. “You know, Maddie, we wouldn’t be adopting a
baby. We’d be taking in a young man whose personality has already been developed.” “And you’re
fearful what sort of personality Win and Katie’s child could have?” Madeleine
inquired with an amused smile. “No, actually
I’m worried about what sort of psychological damage Jim may have as a result
of his traumatic childhood,” Matthew answered candidly. “Not only has the boy
had to deal with both his parents’ death in a short period of time, he’s been
the victim of physical and emotional abuse. Frankly, I don’t know if we are
equipped to deal with that sort of baggage.” She paused to run
a hand through her silken honey-colored tresses, a gesture she often did when
she was thinking. “Matthew, you’ve never been one to balk at a challenge.
Surely Jim’s background isn’t what’s spurring this sudden change of heart.
Don’t you understand? I’m ready to adopt him!” “There’s also
Honey to consider,” Matthew added. “She’s only now beginning to open up to
us. What if having a stranger around the house makes it more difficult for us
to bond as a family?” “You weren’t
concerned it would bother her a few minutes ago,” Madeleine commented airily. “I hadn’t
thought it all the way through,” Matthew answered. “I’m afraid Honey would
eventually grow resentful of Jim.” Madeleine shook
her head in disagreement. “I don’t think she would, love. I have a feeling
this is just what we need to grow closer. Jim will somehow help us be a real
family.” “What if Honey
learns about my former feelings for Jim’s mother?” Madeleine bit
her lip, the wound still fresh enough to sting. “Maybe it would be for the
best if she found out. After all, it’s partly the reason that I was so
distant with her. It may help her understand why I failed miserably as a
mother during her early years.” “You didn’t
fail,” Matthew assured her with a squeeze of her hand. “Yes, I did,” Madeleine said with a
rueful snort. “I’ll never fix my relationship with Honey unless I admit how
horrible I was and turn things around. My feeling of inadequacy with you
isn’t an excuse for my indifference to Honey. It’s time I become a mother to
her, a real mother.” Matthew
scratched his chin thoughtfully. “Honey’s thirteen. An instant big brother
will be a hard adjustment.” “It will be
good for her,” Madeleine insisted. “She’s been an only child far too long.
Although Margaret and I fought constantly, I always enjoyed having an older
sister. With all our marital troubles, it wouldn’t have been wise to bring
another child into the world years ago, but I always hated for Honey to be
alone. An older brother will be exactly what she needs.” When Matthew
remained silent, Madeleine rubbed his knee with her free hand. “Just think,
darling, Honey will have an older brother to keep all the prospective suitors
away.” In spite of the
severity of the subject, Matthew had to smile. “You’ve got a point there.” “Shall I send a
letter saying we agree?” Madeleine held her breath as she watched her
husband’s expression. However, just when she was beginning to feel
comfortable, Matthew’s mood changed, as it was often prone to do. “No,” he
announced, his jaw set stubbornly. “It’s too risky. I won’t endanger my
family’s happiness. I’ve only begun to get you back; I refuse to lose you
now.” Madeleine’s
heart sank as she studied his face. She knew that look well; it was the one
he wore when he had set his mind on something. Changing it would be like
altering words engraved on a marble stone. “I suppose I
should write and tell Honey,” she murmured, her fingers curled into fists of
disappointment. “Tell her it
was my decision,” Matthew offered gently. “I know you’re trying to restore
your relationship with her. I would hate for her to get mad at you because of
me.” Madeleine shook her head, her eyes minus their usual
sparkle. “No. She’s already indifferent where I’m concerned. She’ll be
expecting me to be against the idea. There’s no reason for her to distance
herself from you as well. If that happens, we could lose her completely.” Matthew stood,
and then bent down to kiss his wife on the forehead. “Do what you think is
best. I have a meeting in half an hour and need to leave. See you for lunch
in the hotel’s dining room?” “That would be
lovely, dear,” Madeleine agreed, smiling up at him. “I’ll see you at As he turned to
leave, Matthew turned around to face his wife. “You know, I moved us to
Sleepyside to restore our family. I never imagined Win’s would show up,
needing our help.” Face downcast, he opened the door to the hallway outside
and left. Once alone,
Madeleine settled down at the writing desk by the window, carrying Honey’s
letter with her. With her delicate penmanship, she wrote her daughter a note. Dear
Honey, Your
father asked me to write you that he is seriously considering the matter of
adopting Miss
Trask writes that you are very well and are having a good time. Much
love from us both, “Mother” With a
trembling hand, she sealed the envelope and quickly penned down the correct address
on the front. However, she could not dismiss the thought that rejecting Jim
was the wrong idea. This
isn’t right, she thought to herself. I
can’t help but feel sorry for the boy. He’s lost his parents, and the only
person left to care for him treated him cruelly. And for some reason, I feel
a kinship to him. He’s young, and I’m a grown woman; he’s poor, but I’m
wealthy; he’s an orphan, yet both of my parents are alive. However, both of
us were trapped in a relationship where we felt unloved, and that is possibly
the worst feeling of all. I was able to turn things around, and Jim deserves
that same opportunity. She laid the letter she had
written on the edge of the desk so she could give it to the desk clerk to mail.
Instinctively, she picked up Honey’s letter and re-read it. After she was
finished, she held it close to her heart, wishing it was Honey herself. I need to change Matthew’s mind. Turning Jim
away would be horribly wrong. His destiny is in Sleepyside. I don’t think it
was a coincidence that we just happened to move to Manor House the same time
Jim came looking for his uncle. She would do as her husband
requested and mail the letter, but, in the meantime, she would do everything
she could to change Matthew’s mind. It would not be an easy task, but it was
a challenge she was more than willing to accept. We’ve come a long way, love, she thought as she
pictured her handsome husband. Nobody
thought we’d make it, but we did. Sometimes love’s journey isn’t easy but the
trials one faces along the way are always worth it. And if I have anything to
do with it, Jim will be taking that journey with us. After
all, that is the way it is meant to be…
I decided to write a
Father’s Day story featuring Jim and Matt, which explores the beginnings of
their relationship. However, once I started writing, Madeleine spoke to me in
her modulated voice. “Tell my story first,” she whispered. “Tell them why I
was such a shrew in your alternate universe.” She was so tactful that I had
to agree. As stated in my
author’s notes at the beginning, this story parallels my What Might Have
Been universe where Madeleine dies of an overdose. Thank you ever so much
to my faithful editors, Steph H, KathyW, and Kaye. I’m always amazed how each of you find different ways to improve my stories. I’m greatly
indebted to each of you. Kathy mentioned the
“Fire and Ice” combination during her edits, and I loved it so much that I
had to include it in the story. She understood exactly what I was trying to
convey about Matthew and Madeleine’s relationship. She gave wonderful
suggestions in that particular section, and I would be remiss if I didn’t
give her the credit. Thank you, Kathy! {{{HUGS}}} Honey’s letter was not
showed to us in the book, so I had to use my imagination. I hint in several
stories that Matthew had been in love with Katie, and here we see that
Madeleine was obviously aware of that. Because of her feelings of insecurity,
she turned to alcohol and built a wall around her emotions. In the What Might Have Been
universe, she died from a combination of sleeping pills and vodka, but in the
traditional universes, Matthew saved her. Madeleine’s letter was
taken directly from Red Trailer Mystery. Any discrepancies with
writing and calling are not mine. Also, “Mother” was put in quotes in the
book, so I put it in quotes here. And just for good measure,
these characters belong to Random House Publishers, and I sure do hope they
re-publish the entire series. And RH, please don’t ban us from writing Trixie
fan fiction. We’re keeping the Bob-Whites alive and helping YOU sell books.
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